Ms Calm and Ms Anxiety

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Penny Calm came in the diner
one cold snowy Friday
ordered a cuppa camomile
and the soup of the day;
sipping her herbal tea
lost in thought totally
she waited patiently
for Ms. Sue Anxiety.

Sue arrived in such a state
trembling and rambling
about why she was so late
“A loser on the interstate
slowed me up a long time
twenty cars were tailing in line!”
she ranted and she raved,
an order of soup she then gave
with a double Cappuccino.

“No wonder she’s so nervous”
thought her friend, Penny Calm,
“drinking cappuccino all day long.
If only she changed her diet,
her nerves might soon be quiet
and not be so distressed.”

“Now, now, Sue, calm down a bit,
let’s just enjoy our visit.
We have so much to share
Now tell me, how you are?”
Sue Anxiety , no time to spare
she complained all afternoon
’bout this and that and not aware
the impact of  her attitude
had managed to stir Penny
no longer was she calm, rather
started to panic, hyperventilate.
she had to use her inhaler
to calm her breathing rate.

By the end of the day, Sue Anxiety seemed much calmer
“This was such a great idea, to meet and spend the day
Talking and getting things off my chest I feel so much better.”
Penny Calm just stared at Sue, not sure what she should say
and left the diner, saying, “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

And so the story goes that Penny Calm never
did call Sue Anxiety, and calmly lived forever.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/02/06

Comfort ‘n Joy?

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As the holidays are approaching quickly, some people think changed behaviour of some friends and relatives…sometimes it is less to be desired.   i.e. more fighting, arguing, behaving inappropriately including sexually.

Here are a few snippets of stories I have heard over the years talking with youths:

It may be the first Christmas without mom and dad together;  When  parents separate a child may have mixed feelings. He may remember the fighting when they were all together.  He may feel torn with sad or angry feelings towards one parent or both.  Change is never easy but it is more difficult for youths especially teens.  Keep that in mind when making plans for the holidays.

A youth may feel guilty being more with one parent and not know how to reach out to the other parent. How can a parent help a child sort this out?  It is totally okay to feel these emotions..confusion, guilt, anger…and hope. It’s just nice to have a shoulder to lean on when it gets messy in the mind and confusing.

Some youths are worried their family have enough money to get through the year. Many people are laid off end of December and contracts are sometimes renewed only in the spring.  Some older youths (teens) feel they should quit school to help the family by getting a job.

Some families are transferred in other parts of the country or the world due to employment…parents have to move their families…sometimes children have to say goodbye to long-term friends.  Getting through  the holidays in a new place can be exciting and yet it can be overwhelming as well. 

For some families and youths, this is a marked season without a special friend or family member…grieving this loss, and their absence is felt more so during certain holidays.

For many youths who have lost a loved one, regardless when that was…the holidays are often difficult because it is a time to share with loved ones and that person is not among them.  And so, the holidays can be an “opportunity” rather to take time and think about this person and include her or him in your well wishes during the holidays. 

Let’s be honest.  It is a bittersweet time for adults too. Some of us have lost a parent or both. So keep in mind that it’s okay to talk about it. Normalizing grief and loss on important holidays is acknowledging that big elephant in the living room.  Once that’s out in the open, it will actually give a sense of relief for everyone.

This is a time of year that many teens are invited to parties, exposed to alcohol and drugs; they need to know they can call for a ride without getting scolded…is this a possibility for many? 

Some youths share they feel a bit left out because they know their friends are celebrating Christmas but it is not part of their culture or religion.  They share that it is not only at school or with friends but it is everywhere they go…the television, the radio, the stores, the newspapers…all bombarded with this Christmas cheer that is a bit foreign to them.

It may be a good time to emphasize that the meaning of this word ‘Christmas’ and that for many it is an opportunity  to connect with people and tell them how much they care about them; it can mean having people over for the holidays to share a good meal and that that sense of giving and sharing is perhaps more universal this time of year.     

The holidays  represent many diverse things for youths and families.  There is the joy of getting together and yet the stress of having enough time off to enjoy this time with the children.  There are cultural and religious differences that some face and are forced to be off work and exposed to the commercial aspect of this time of year. Let’s face it, even those who celebrate Christmas get fed up being bombarded by the commercialization too.

Ultimately, it is supposed to be a time of year to bring friends and families together; sometimes we need to be more creative in the gatherings and have more “pot lucks”.  Children also feel the stress and depending on their age, are often confused as to who they are supposed to act.

Planning, decorating and cooking and baking…all of these traditions can be part of the fun too…how are you planning your holidays?  Children feel special when they are given certain roles and tasks too.  What have you planned for your children?  Remember, if you are anxious and stressed about the holidays, chances are some of your children may be feeling some of this angst too.  They are like sponges, soaking up emotions we had no idea they could relate to. Usually the younger youths do not understand what that emotion is, they just feel something…

Some families want to also teach values to their children and it is a time of year where families volunteer at a food bank for a day or a soup kitchen too! 

Wishing you warmth, love and health … Happy Holidays!

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, December 17, 2013

I’ll soon be there one day

I don`t judge you
I find life tough too.

There you are every day
at my subway every morning
there you are every day
like a blaring warning
of my own disgrace
that slaps me in the face
there you are every day.

I don’t judge you
I find life tough too.

I don’t mean to stare
at your choice of beverage?
There you are every morning
I see you at Dundas Square
like a psychic warning
the truth’s too hard to bear

I don’t judge you
because you ease your pain
since I do it too
keeps me from going insane.

I don’t judge you
I find life tough too.

If I look revolted, it’s sure not YOU!
If I look critical, it’s sure not YOU!
if I look shocked, It’s really not YOU!
I’m merely seeing a reflection
of my sourly spitting image
outcomes of my dereliction.

There you are every day
reminding me every morning
if I miss just one week’s pay
you’re my telepathic warning
I’ll be joining you damn soon
I’m already half way there
getting drunk at my saloon
the obvious, too great to bear
I’ll soon be there one day
at the subway every morning
there I’ll be every day
searching for relief someway.

so please forgive my insolence
I’m so not judging you!
my fears engulf me since
I know not what to do

Your presence is really
exposing ME , hinting
of what my life’s become;
your presence at Dundas Square,
just a sign what I shall bear.

So please forgive my insolence
I’m so not judging you
my fears engulf me since
I know not what to do.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, originally written  September 5, 2013

Related Source: judgement

Brainchild cure

My heart goes out to them,

for those who truly can’t stop

Yet they try real hard

and are so misunderstood

I wish I could invent a cure

for those who feel such pain

I’d call it my “brainchild”cure

and give away the services

And never ever sell my patent

especially to drug companies

those selfish greedy cretins

who care not for cures but money

Money is all they want.

So BrainChild cure would devote

Its time to help  all the folks

who suffer and self-harm;

Each person, once cured,

would have 3 powers

to share to anyone who self-harms;

So each person cured multiplied

by 3 multiplied by all the sufferers

of this condition and then delete

all such afflictions eventually, it

would certainly put a huge DENT

in rendering Self-Harm obsolete.

by Cheryl-Lynn, a humble stab at writing

(Never EVER give up on yourself and never give up on dreams)

 © Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, Originally written August 20, 2013