Words hurt!

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National Bullying Week passed 3 weeks ago but the issues are still alive unfortunately.  Every day is a time to create more awareness of what goes on month after month, year after year especially with children, youths and young adults in school, high school, college and university. We know it goes on at work as well.  If it is not addressed in schools, why wouldn’t it continue at work?  Right?

Sexting, cyberbullying, bullying and making a youth`s life a living hell is NOT  what being  a youth is all about. Students, parents, school staff, bus drivers, cafeteria employees, janitors, daycare workers, school principal, school counsellors, school nurses…we are ALL in this together.  It is systemic and each person is part of that fabulous puzzle.

I know I wrote about this on my blog Stop the Stigma, but it merits to be repeated; sorry to those who read, heard it and are doing something about this…just click on to another fabulous post on WordPress {smiles}.

–  Please,  do not forward any email or social network posts, that can hurt another person, even if you think it’s funny at the time.  Just ask yourself, “How would I feel if this was shared?” BEFORE clicking share.

–  Always pause and think before you post and click “enter”.

–  Adjust your settings so you have to actually point your mouse on “reply” rather than just “enter”. That can save YOU and another person lots of grief.  This is good advice to adults too by the way.  How many times have you accidentally hit the enter button by accident?  I have clicked it by mistake and half my message went through before I was actually finished.  So lesson learned, right?

–  Always report cyberbullying to network administrators.

–  If you see any sexting (photos  of a sexual nature etc.) forward to http://www.cybertips.ca to prevent the spread of child pornography. Did you know that even if the person is a teenager, spreading any photos of a sexual nature is STILL considered Child Pornography. Do you want your teen to be involved with this? I didn’t think so {smiles}

–  If you are a Bystander / Witness to cyber-bullying, take a stand.

–  If you click “like” or “share” you are actually part of the problem and only perpetuating the bullying.   So think TWICE before clicking.

–  Even adults can report. I reported a few times to Facebook for “hate comments” , “racist” and pages that use the “R” word on public pages as a joke.  If you see something that is offensive, try not just ignore it…report it.

–  Parents,  kindly sit down with your children/teens and show them how to remain safe from predators but also how to be respectful and learn on-line courtesy.  Granted your teens will probably NOT want to have this little causerie (discourse). Check the links below and have them check it out. Better still ask them to come up with at least 2 or 3 sites that offer advice on internet safety. What Teens Need to Know by PrevNet (the Guru of bullying training, they trained counsellors at Kids Help Phone, work with the Red Cross and Scouts Canada)…have a great page on this.

Here is my humble attempt of saying this in rhymes.

Don’t click share
If you care,
Think before you click
on ANY of those pics
Clicking LIKE is very serious
Clicking SHARE spreads like a virus.
Sometimes silence,
translates compliance
If it’s cruel don’t add to the pain
by clicking SHARE again and again.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, December 8, 2013

 

© Cheryl-Lynn, November 15, 2013

Important links:

Kids Help Phone

Prevnet

Cybertips

A photo that went viral

Stop the Stigma

A photo that went viral by Cheryl-Lynn

Hey! Why d’you take that pic last night?
Man, you sure didn’t have a right
to use your phone and take that shot!
Man, you’d better hide your face
behind your screen, to not get caught.
You made her look like a disgrace
why d’ya take that shot last night?
it looks like D… was high as a kite
we all know she’s a good girl alright
she never did drugs and no alcohol
so why make her look like a doped up doll?
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS EVEN CARE?
the news is out and spreading like wild fire
it’s feeling worse than a house on fire
Oh man, this’ll ruin her reputation
everyone clicking Like and Share
how can she survive this humiliation?!
DON’T YOU GUYS…

View original post 17 more words

Boys will be Boys

Stop the Stigma

www.huffingtonpost.ca

Boys will be boys
always use that excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

So what do you think
should be done to those boys?
How will they learn
from right and from wrong?
Saying that girls are bad
and they deserve what they had
is just as bad as YOU taking that pic
spreading it around just makes me sick.

Boys will be boys
is not an excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

Spreading it around is called
child pornography
did you know that at all
when ya’ll took that photography?

Boys will be boys
stop using that excuse
boys will be boys
and the girls always lose.

We have to teach all our kids
how to be decent, respectful people!
all that sexting you just can’t get rid
of it … spreading like a constant ripple.

Boys will be boys
don’t use that excuse

View original post 222 more words

Fun at work! (Tanka)

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Fun at Work (Tanka)

such festive staging
greets me; I smiled and entered
joy fills my spirit.
work will be fun today
youths will truly hear my smile.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, December 8, 2013

I had been away four days from work. Sundays are not always easy to come to work when family and friends are off, but today was such a beautiful sunny day, it made the drive so much easier. The bow wrapped on this gorgeous day was walking through the door at the counselling centre to see Christmas decorations already set up. This sure helps to digest Sunday working for sure. Merci mes collègues…I do think Julie P. may have had a hand at this…hmmm:)

Sunday drive in Brossard Dec 8, 2013
Sunday drive in Brossard, Qc.
Dec 8, 2013

Photo credits: Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

Inventory completed

me oct 23 2012November and December are often inventory months for many businesses. Retail stores are usually end of December and probably why Boxing Day is useful for any commerce. For many December 31st is also a time to take stalk of the past year and what you have done or not done.

This week was my Spring Cleaning or Inventory of posts on Stigma Hurts Everyone and transferring some back to Cher Shares. I had pondered for months on placing all my posts under Stigma but somehow it just felt…I don’t know…not right (guess I have to keep practicing writing since I seem to have difficulty find the right word to express myself sometimes.)

So for readers who have followed me on both blogs, I apologize for the repetition of posts you have read before and being notified that there was a “new post”…sorry for the inconvenience. And for followers of Cher Shares, well, I’m happy to have put my writing up to date.

It would have been much quicker if my computer were not so slow. I tell ya since my laptop came back from summer camp…I mean, servicing…it took them one month, by the way, and not one week. They changed the hard drive so you would think with an almost brand new computer, it would function better. No sireeee, it is slow, slow, slow. Maybe it is on it’s last legs. Maybe the hard drive replacement is like when we get older and have a knee or hip replaclement…it does finally have an expiration date. (sigh) So just in case, I have equipped myself with a Surface 2 Tablet …my second child…{goofy smile}

Cheryl-Lynn 

3 years of Blogging already!!

I had not realized I started with WordPress 3 years already!  I first started with Alecoute-Ntouch   then graduated to Stop The Stigma   then Cher Shares

Ultimately I started with Ntouch to market my workshops and then I wanted to share my thoughts with chershares.  And finally it was really last year that I seriously put more effort in blogging on Stop the Stigma.

How fortunate it is to have a great community like WordPress. We have technical support for free, a community of creative writers and bloggers but mostly, I have noticed a wealth of caring and devoted people here. So to get this nice WP wish in my notifications tonight was truly a warm fuzzy blanket I could wrap myself in.  Thanks WordPress!

You registered on WordPress.com 3 years ago!

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging!

 

My life changed

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I was a teenager when my sister gave birth to my nephew, my godchild. I never thought my life would be quite the same after his birth. Mom and I were so excited and silly happy (if that is a correct expression). We had always been “girls” at home. We knew nothing about boys. Well, the basic plumbing, I guess but nothing about little baby boys. I had boy cousins. Mostly they were older than me and a few younger but we were too young to pay much attention to how a little baby boy was, how a little boy interacted with the world. They were just cousins, sheesh!

I remember the first time Mom was changing his diaper and I was right next to her…like I said, keep in mind, we did not know much about little baby boys. Well, the air must have triggered his urge to…peeee and squirt right in Mom’s eye…she just laughed…I tell ya, we were just so silly! I loved that kid so darn much and when I became pregnant years later, I was a bit apprehensive. I wondered if it was possible to love a child as much or more than I loved my godchild.

That is when I had this earth shattering discovery…it was possible! My son was born after many years of trying to start a family. We had been trying to conceive a few years after our marriage and when the miracle finally happened, I gave birth to a beautiful, picture perfect, “Gerber look- a- like” baby boy on November 7th.

I remember bringing him home that first day from the hospital, laying him in the middle of our double bed; I undressed him and just stared at him thinking to myself, “Such a little human being depending on us for everything …absolutely everything!” I was scared, overwhelmed and high on adrenalin for having our baby…finally! I planned to be the best I could be and give him the best he deserved. Oh, boy, what a tall order but it was my hope and intention. His father felt the same.

Breastfeeding was no picnic the first few months…but I was determined to give him the best nutrition humanly possible {that human would be me alright…ouch, ouch, ouch!} but that did pass eventually. I wanted to nurse him for 4 months and return to work as we only had 4 months in those days. But he was not quite ready to eat and everything was going so well…that I prolonged it to 8 months and the nursing 18 months! Hey, when things go well, why stop?

The first few months when he would wake up for a feeding, I remember shuffling over to his crib in his bedroom next to ours, thinking to myself, “Boy oh boy, I had been trying for years to have this baby …good thing I reeeeeally planned for this.” It IS tough those first few months. How to read each different cry, moan, whine. Getting used to nursing is not so easy when you have fair skin that can burn easily… But after 2 months it went uphill all the way.   That too did pass.

Our neighbours had two 2 adolescent girls who became babysitters later…they stopped by often after school just to see him…not me much, I don’t think, I don’t think I was that cute!

My life changed completely. I used to have ambitions and goals. As a couple we had dreams too and this first house was a home but also a “wise investment”…maybe later we would get a bigger house. But having this child changed my goals as well as my interests. Material things like a bigger house or bigger car seemed so trivial to me now.

Having a child walk through a field of wild flowers and stop every two seconds to smell them made me see the world differently. Watching him stare at an ant hill as if it was a 3-D movie for 30 to 40 minutes at a time, made me stop too and start looking through his eyes. I was given a second chance to see the world differently.

Fast forward to the teen years and he started playing guitar. Going to sleep at night whilst he practised on his classical guitar with Beethoven as my lullaby. Being exposed to his CD’s of Hendrix and Zeppelin gave me a second chance to savour these classics. Growing up I was into Motown, Beatles and Rolling Stones…that was pretty much my interests…

Having children allows parents to rediscover the world. It allowed me to play again…playing in the sand and making mud pies is fun!
I have to say that my fear of not knowing if I had enough love in me for another child was quickly dispersed…no problem there…the love is rooted inside the core of a human being…and if your child hurts, you hurt, if they are happy, you are happy, when they are giggling with joy, you can’t help but laugh along with them.

Someone once told me that a mother’s love is like a flame on a candle, you can light many many candles from that same flame and the flame will be the same…burning just as much and glowing just as beautifully…so I knew I had as much for our daughter who followed almost 3 years later.

© Cheryl-Lynn,  originally written 3 days after my son’s birthday making this writing exercise quite easy,  November 10, 2013

This is a contribution to a FreeWriteFridays writing prompt on Life Changers.

Precious Friendships

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Friendship is a precious gift I so  treasure

many relationships I tenderly embrace

a true friendship withstands the pressure

when you are placed face to face

with differences of opinions and adversity

but I take this as an opportunity

to grow and go with the flow

sometimes I even advocate for diversity.

You see how friendships make me grow?!

Let us not talk of those present in my life..

I’d need a book or two to fill the richness

some angels have brought in my life.

They know who they are…

it’s a heartfelt sense of pure love…

 

And then there are friends who are

just passing through for a little while.

 

Some friends are here for just a season

like delightful school chums and working buddies;

that special friend that shared a desk

a coffee, a muffin in such and such a class.

 

Grace, who shared her deep dark secret

I listened, she cried, I listened some more;

who knew I might be faced with a similar

dilemma a few years down the road!?

 

Oh and that committee friend that made me laugh,

that task force we were sitting on that year.

How she helped me not take things so seriously.

 

My sailing and walking friend by the lake

great times spent for leisure’s sake;

 

But,some friends are here for a reason

and once departed I might see why;

 

Louise who encouraged me to keep

on trying to have a baby…

she knew the agony

the despair of waiting,

she too waited ten years

…my  seven  seems trivial  by far.

 

My dearest neighbour and midnight friend,

Janet, how we shared so much together,

to speak aloud of what we shared

… oh my God!!! we’d never

be able to find this same measure

of  understanding….of such treasured

secrets…shared in strict confidence.

 

She blessed my life with her love of life

her immense patience that  unfortunately

did not rub off enough on me, but still,

it saved me and the kids tumultuous times;

it kept my marriage intact for a few more years

holding on, walking,  talking, burning her ears.

she taught me to relax and play more

enjoy the kids, just play and roll on the floor

and be silly and just BE.

 

And Wayne,  why did he leave so fast?

I still can’t accept he’s gone at last!

he was my boss, my colleague,

my dearest friend.

We shared our woes of so many things

relationships, partners and our children, too.

Oh how he was such an amazing dad!

And what a cook he was …a great chef!

feeding his daughter’s umpteen pals

he was the most  fabulous dad of them all!

And then he left this plane for good.

My only true consolation is that

someday I will meet them all in that

other dimension…up there or around here;

my family awaits too also near. 

We’ll have a bash, a pint of beer!

when my time comes they’ll all be here. 

For friendships past and present too,

I’m blessed, I’m rich, and thank all of you.

© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts,  originally written on November 3, 2013

Dungeon Prompts on Friendship