authentic and compassion (troiku) Daily Moments 8-10-2019

grey looms within
searching for the sun
chasing blue rays

grey looms within
cannot seem to stop
raindrops tasting salt

searching for the sun
shining in the sky
yet, so faraway

chasing blue rays
just, what doctors order
“should” produce a smile


teardrops fall
like leaky faucets – yet,
no reason at all

teardrops fall
salt blending with sweetness
making all things real

like leaky faucets – yet,
overflows may be triggered
over-stretched soul

no reason at all
some folks are just born
caring and real

© Tournesol ‘19/10/08

Daily Moments October 8/2019   authentic and compassionate Troiku

reflections (haibun)

31,479 hours and still counting…

31, 479 hours to date, she has picked up the phone or sat at her desk replying to youths on the world wide web. She wonders how many hours one has to work before they start seeing pink rabbits and blue dinosaurs…

purple turtles
crawling ever slowly
weight on her heart

purple turtles
light and vulnerable
once upon a time

crawling ever slowly
feeding on every teardrop
nutrients within

weight on her heart
so called “innovation”
betrayed by giants

Giants make important decisions but may not have all the variables. Sadly, they are too tall and high, they cannot always hear the true believers…

hearts beating
to the sounds of their cries
fears, pain and suffering

Pushing the heart to beat faster, longer; lungs that sometimes collapse…not enough time to come up for air; maintenance does not seem to be the giant’s option. Push harder, drown, bury, replace, rebranding…looking to the future, they stick their chests out snapping their suspenders woven out of self-righteousness. Gatekeepers hold onto to their purple turtles so they don’t slip away. Hiding from poachers and giants who claim that Father Knows Best.

pink rabbits scatter
creating a diversion
blue dinosaurs roam

pink rabbits scatter
compassion their fuel
keeping turtles safe

creating a diversion
here, there, up and down
giants can’t keep up

blue dinosaurs roam
keeping watch night and day
the Universal Rule

when does an ideal begin to crumble?
what happens to noble dreams?
why do new stakeholders falter?
where have those primary dreamers gone?
when have visionaries replaced compassion and humility?
why have giants slipped away so far…from that Golden Rule?

She remembers going to see a new mechanic in Mississauga in 1997 when she had just moved to GTA. Her car had just passed the five year mark and was no longer on warranty. She had a list in October…to change the spark plugs, oil and filter and clean or change the brakes. She had her winter tires (which very few had there but she was from Montreal…better safe than sorry was their motto).

Mike, the mechanic (Yeah, I know like the song) did the oil change and put on her snow tires and told her everything else was fine. He told her that always cleaned brakes when doing an oil change; he said, “A garage will never make much money from a customer like you, Cl. You come in October to prepare your car for the winter…most people come around in at the end of November or even December and often when their car won’t start…prevention and good maintenance is the key to keep your car for a long time.” Of course, the winters were not as cold and snowy as in Quebec and that car held on up to 2008. The motor was still fine (thank you Mitsubishi) but it was not as safe to travel to visit her family in Quebec…her ailing mother and beautiful grandson merited more visits now.

She required a more dependable vehicle to manage the trek from Toronto to Montreal. A humble 4 cylinder, Eagle Summit was still working after 16 years, however. It felt as if it was time for retirement, but she would not be able to visit it as it; it would now be running slower and less frequently. Just like we do when we retire…we put less demand on ourselves, stretching our lives with quality time and less stress.

Isn’t that how dependable and high functioning people should be treated in a workplace? Maintaining their overall health which includes physical and mental wellbeing is crucial. Is she wrong in believing this?

pushing
faster, harder
dropping like flies

© Tournesol 19-10-08

Daily Moments  October 8 2019

Daily moments September 25, 2019 “missing Dom’ ” ~Troibun

 

You know how the smells of certain food, the images of certain things like flowers or sounds like a song all bring you back in time reminding you of that special someone?  Time stops for a moment to allow you to place yourself back with that person. That is what was happening today as she waited by the stove preparing her lunch. 

The eggs were simmering over roasted garlic and rice.  It would take a few minutes longer, she knew, but they would be “just right”, like that amazing omelette she had years ago in her friend’s kitchen in St Basil le Grand.  She remembers sitting at the counter and chatting with her as she would go back and forth leisurely but expertly, to the stove, preparing their brunch.

miss her smile
warm and genuine hugs
shimmering baby blues

miss her smile
sharing joys of music
blues and indie songs

warm and genuine hugs
former colleague that became her friend
on her first shift

shimmering baby blues
telling so many stories
spill with emotion

© Tournesol ‘19/09/25

Daily moments September 25, 2019  missing Dom’   Troibun

tragic losses (troibun)

It is tragic when depression wraps a person so tight with layers and layers of prickly wool. A person falls victim to that predator who distorts their lens and forges their vision seeing no way out.

lost in the darkness
never sees the right bend
veiled from the light

lost in the darkness
never thought there was help
suffering alone

never seeing the right bend
turned to the left
that cul-de-sac

veiled from the light
obscurity snickers
`til that last breath

© Tournesol ’16/05/10

Daily Moments ~ tragic loss May 10  2016

Daily Moments ~ hear the breeze ~ troiku ~ August 16 2019

Tween seasons are the best…end of summer opens windows and turns off air conditioners, reminding us of the beauty of natural sounds [minus the cars during rush hour].

finally
listen to the wind
softly whispering

finally
open windows
fresh air

listen to the wind
cicadas do their shrill
how peaceful!

softly whispering
“remember your Hail Mary’s”
can’t help but smile

© Tournesol ‘19/08/16

Daily Moments hear the breeze troika August 16 2019

Chapter 2 of Emily’s autobiography (troibun)

Emily does not remember much of the unpleasant and scary for some reason. It’s like ghosts in the back of her brain. The good, happy, loving images are so vivid and when the ghosts try to poke at her and get to the forefront, she is never sure what is real. The details are blurred. She sees a little girl sitting on the steps at the back of her house, sulking or weeping for “no reason”.

“I’ll give you something to really cry about!” screams in her brain…a buckle on a belt flashes and then blackness.

Recalling unpleasant and scary is like trying to pick up a lost penny on the pavement with your toes.

Then feeling the warm, loving hugs and her soothing voice…remembering her comforting embrace is her safety net.

memories
floating in and out
dream catcher

memories
fragmented stories
and blurred lines

floating in and out
latching on like…
bloodsuckers

dream catcher
recalling soothing hues
tangible – love

(c) tournesol ’19/08/15

What would you write in Chapter 2 of your life story?

Dorothy sings the blues (troiku)

Today, I treated myself to a mani-pedi at the Mall across the street. As the lady started working on my neglected feet, I took out my beads and relaxed and chanted my mantra silently. Usually one lady takes care of my feet and later I move to a table where another lady works on my hands. Today it was not as busy, another lady approached me with a bowl to soak my left hand while she started working on my right hand.


just like Dorothy
pampering hands and feet
in the land of Oz

It felt good to just be in the moment and relax. Later, I walked around aimlessly at The Bay and realized I wanted to continue doing “nothing” and came home to cocoon with my thoughts and my bff’s (best feline friends).


watching the leaves sway
rustling with the wind
Mother Nature’s blues

watching the leaves sway
listening to sopranos
cicadas shrill

rustling with the wind
like a full satin skirt
Mother used to wear

Mother Nature’s blues
giddy daisies dancing
to a summer’s breeze

© Tournesol ’19/08/06