today to tomorrow and back ~Troibun ~ Daily Moments June 25 2019

(c) Clr’19/06/22 Chambly Rapids, Chambly, Quebec This fella stood so strong for at least twenty minutes on those teeny tiny legs despite the strong current, then flew to his island.

A wide mist covers the entire front lawn and hangs in the air a few long minutes…steady, wet but light. Then the wind picks up and mist turns to raindrops and the city workers in front get soaked! It’s a grey day today and the streets are wet and filled with puddles. Pedestrians risk getting splashed as the cars drive by way too fast, impatient to catch the light five houses down the road.


My feline friends are taking advantage of my day off and sleeping near me. I have caught up on some reading or more specifically discovering new blogs. I wish I had the time to visit my friends more often but I don’t so I drop by now and then and admire their talents. There are so many amazing photographers in this community that it is such a privilege to travel to various WordPress Galleries.

Today I will stick with photography and discovered this amazing blog…check out this post for you bird lovers at TinyLessonsBlog.

Thanks to MichelleMarie at TellMeAboutIt who is also an amazing photographer. and poet who shared a list of great blogs to discover. Later I may read a few poetry and story blogs if I have time. My grandson is coming over but then again, he is a teenager and may be plugged to some game or two rather than chat with Nana. That reminds me, I must make those brownies , suggested by Janice who also has a few blogs but I`ll share her blog of birds today at BirdBrain


What is so unique about this WordPress community is that I don’t even have to purchase a ticket to fly to any part of the world and visit awhile and get acquainted with “their world”.


Travelling solo
Visiting tomorrow lands
Returning today

Travelling solo
Strangers becoming friends
One blog at a time

Visiting tomorrow lands
Jumping from summer
To winter

Returning today
Travelling coast to coast
On one free ticket

© Tournesol ‘19/06/25

Is time measurable ? (troibun)


How does one measure time? Really! Is it like having a set amount of “currency” when each person is born? Does it accumulate interest if you invest wisely? How old do you start to know what to do? What are the profit margins if you invest/save wisely? Does your childhood have an impact on losing/gaining “funds”? So many questions and too many subjective answers according to each person’s perception but especially according to their life experiences.


I know a few people that keep waiting for their “ship to come in”. Does that mean they have badly invested? Or does it mean they are sitting on a “nest egg” that eventually dissolves? Waiting for that lucky opportunity to come by. Envying others who “appear” to be happy and have fruitful lives. How is “fruitful” measured? It is evaluated according to that monster house you have or the children you have and grandchildren? Is it measured by how much you have helped people in your life despite the fact you may live in a shack…you are rich!


I remember in my mid-thirties, peers telling me how lucky I was to go back to university. Really? You call that luck to go to university, part-time raising two children and working at one to three part-time jobs and volunteering on 3 to 4 committees? No luck there, but hard work and perseverance, lugging psychology books to hockey games and cramming in as much studying when I could.


Then there are people who fight for free daycare,(although I do believe in a pro-ratio system) free university and free this and that pointing ugly fingers at people in the corporate world and lawyers for example. I remember asking one former colleague who had no desire to work more than 21 hours a week at 30 something of age. I could not understand that but then again, I come from a different generation, I guess. Here I am 67 and just starting to cut down my work hours to 21.


I do not expect government to pay everything for me nor do I appreciate getting overtaxed like we are in this province. When I mention that some of these corporate lawyers or business people may work a 16 hour DAY, some people just don’t get it.


Now how did we get to that place of judging life’s accomplishments?! Oh yes, time and how one may measure it. Hmm, I suppose you can waste “time” and miss out on “golden” opportunities. Not everything is “handed down to you”. Not everyone wins the lottery and for those who do, so many end up right back their original way of living a few years later because habits just die hard, don’t they?


Time seems forever when you are a child. Your parents at 30 something seem old and your grandparents seem way too old to imagine you will ever get there and great-grandparents seem to be a wink away from death…to a child I mean, of course.


Last week I watched my uncle as he moved slowly filled with arthritis and osteoporosis. He is 91. His head moves forward and his back is completely bent over as he moves tentatively on his legs that may give way any moment. I am only 23 years younger than him and I wonder if I could live like that. He is so determined and resilient despite the pain he experiences each waking moment. He has his partner to help him. She is already 90 but physically in good form even though her mind may seem to be slowly fading but whose mind is not at that age! You often have to repeat to her but then again when she was 40 or 50 or 60, she did not always listen very well. Heck my mind trails off when someone is talking to me for a while…my kids hate it! They say, “I can’t believe you’re a counsellor when you can’t even listen to me!” Well, on my day off, I suppose, I allow my mind to wander is the only excuse I can give. [chuckles sheepishly]


Listening is not always easy for people. I wonder if my aunt had ADD like I do. Of course I was never diagnosed in the 50’s but just labeled as a dreamer in class. My dear aunt is an artist and creative people can be pretty unique. In the 1940’s to 1960’s, good heavens, most youths did not get diagnosed with any form of learning difference. Why, even people with dyslexia slipped through the cracks in those days. How awful for those people who thought they were just not smart enough to be able to read and savour books like I did. I was a slow reader though and my mind could drift and I would have to reread a page a few times to get the gist of it. It was as if my mind had two or three minds working at the same time in that brain of mine, and all the chatter cluttered that space. I think that is probably the best way to describe me.


If I had to measure “time” spent reading chapters for university, I would guesstimate I took at least three times as long to study and write papers. But I got there eventually starting a new career at 39 years old! All the years prior, I did similar work but as a volunteer…imagine the pride and joy when I got my first “paying” job teaching in a high school for five years! After that, it got tricky to get work and so my uncle and aunt who are now in their 90’s encouraged me to not “waste time” since I was getting older and to start my career over in another province where there were more possibilities and politics was not as much in the way as it was here.

Within a few years, I fast tracked, yes, I was able to be in a place that I would gladly have volunteered…I would have worked here for free because I believe in the service. How lucky is that?


So in the past two decades, “time has flown” by so quickly because I spent most of my “waking time” working in a career I have such passion for. I volunteered as well but always chose areas I wanted to learn, grow and enjoy myself. So when John Lennon said, “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” I suppose in my case, I am living the life I was once so busy making plans for. And in the process of studying to get there, I was still advocating and volunteering for things I believed in.


Hmm, writing this little piece has allowed me to realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now.


time
endless – infinite
when you’re waiting

time
a wink away
death

endless – infinite
in a place called “pain”
or hell

when you’re waiting
the mind crawls
a snail’s pace
© Tournesol ‘06/11/2019

Daily Moments – June 11 2019

Thank you to The Muscleheaded for posting Tennesse Wiliams quote which inspired this piece. “Time is the longest distance between two places.”

Steel melodies (haibun)

(C) Clr’19 Brockville, On.

Riding on the train from Montreal to Toronto is a long ride but it’s a train and nothing is more comfortable for long rides up to 5 hours.

She was raised in a train town [hog town they called it for the railroad engineers]. Trains passed through her little town a dozen times a day. There were at least six passenger trains that went to Montreal which was about 40 minutes away and too many freight trains that passed, stopped, shunted and road at a snail’s pace every day.  The shunting could wake you up at night sounding like thunder booming in your bedroom…no kidding!

There were freight trains that could hold up the town forever and block streets and prevent people from getting home in time for lunch or home at night in time before curfew…if you had one of those.

Looking back at those days, she considered herself pretty lucky. Her mother would let her and her sister go out weekends and come home when they were ready. She would simply whisper, “I trust you darling.” And THAT killed any mischief they might consider.

So back on this train, she could not get over how comfortable the newer trains were these days. Wow!! So much leg room for an economy class and the seats were leather and sleek…real fancy! What she loved most were the panoramic windows where you could see forever and just stare off in the distance and let your imagination run wild.

She was going to see her family, celebrating her uncle’s 91st birthday today! He was like a dad to her. She had lived with them for a month twenty years ago so she could save first and last month’s rent and found a place less than thirty minutes from her family and fifteen minutes to downtown Toronto. She loved this city. It held so many memories, both good and tough times but still, it was a place she truly grew when she moved here in her mid forties. Now she was just visiting…she would stay in Oakville for a few days to see her family. She would be staying in a B & B just off Lake Ontario.

The rest of her trip would be be in mid-town Toronto in another B & B in the same borough where her dad live the last years before moving on to different dimensions. It would be nice visiting that neighbourhood. She had fond memories of a few places she loved to go dancing not too far from her dad’s complex. His apartment was called ” Montgomery Place” but he joked calling it “Montgomery Morgue” because everyone was over 65 and from the looks of many of the residents, they were well into their late seventies. Many turned in for the night before eight and her dad was a night owl like herself. She wondered if she could stand living in a place like that when life (to her) began after nine at night and ended just before the sun came out the birds started clearing their throats for the day’s concert.

She sat back and looked out at the trees rushing by and allowed time to stand still…

(C) Clr’19

Rumble of the train

Lullaby of her childhood

Mumbling “peace”

(c) Tournesol 31/05/2019

Daily Moments – steel melodies

Soul train (troiku)

Troiku

Life is a journey
Cruising on different tracks
riding your soul train

Life is a journey
Slowing down on bumpy rides
samsara

Cruising on different tracks
Fleeing from suffering
Albeit — still attached

Riding your soul train
Wrapped in mute introspection
Finding your ‘self’

© Tournesol 19-04-16

Daily moments of painful contemplations April 16 2019

 

TROIKU

pain Ponos
daughter of strife Eris
My life companion

pain Ponos
Relentless suffering
Scent of samsara

Daughter of strife  Eris
Agony your dowry
Attachment my foe

My life companion
Mangled and entangled with me
learning to let go

© Tournesol ‘ 19 04 16

 

mid-day lullaby (haibun)

Image may contain: tree, sky, plant, cloud, outdoor and nature
midday lullaby – berceuse de midi (c) Clr’19-04-09

Rocking in her chair, her head starts to lean forward, growing heavy to the sounds of the snow plough becomes a mid-day lullaby.


 
short afternoon nap 
purr of the snow plow 
midday lullaby 
~~~
petite sieste 
ronronnement des chasse-neige 
berceuse de midi 
 
~~ 
(troiku)
 
Dancing fleetingly 
in the corner of her eye 
Could that be fairies? 
 
Dancing fleetingly 
Visions of a debutante  
Movements in her dreams 
 
In the corner of her eye 
Chubby hands sneaking cookies 
Mother always knows 
 
Could that be fairies? 
Pulling up that warm duvet 
on heavy eyelids 
 
 
~~ 
 
Dreams are gifts 
refuge from reality 
The Great Spirit gives 
 ~~~
imagination 
Drugs could never compete 
Everlasting dreams 
 
© Tournesol ‘19/04/09 
 

if only cats could speak (Troibun) Daily Moments March 26 2019

cats
Kali and Bette playing make believe

Looking at her two bff’s (best feline friends) watching something moving among the decayed leaves, she wondered how life was perceived for her feline friends. They were indoor cats. How does a shut in see the world? Is there curiosity or envy? Is there fear or relief?

Spring dredges us such good feelings of her youth. That first bike ride to school giving her an extra fifteen minutes to skip rope with her peers. The first walk without boots  and feeling so light on her feet. That walk hand in hand with a new crush, feeling nervous and excited at the same time.

Then the reality of her work comes to mind and what takes place behind closed doors, come spring, summer, fall or winter…

spring is in the air
fast cars and motorcycles
sweet scents of freedom

spring is in the air
watching it all come to life
indoor cats just dream

fast cars and motorcycles
kicking up a cloud of dust
April rains will clean

sweet scents of freedom
first loves or devil’s cunnings
too bad cats can’t speak

© Tournesol ‘19-03-26

recalling (haibun) Daily moments March 21, 2019

Ah finally spring has arrived!    Along with the scents of decay and images of black snow melting, there is still hope in the air.  Once the old is washed away, the new will start to thrive.  Trees are starting to form those amazing buds, birds are flying back home, animals are mating, teens and adults falling in love again. It is all so mesmerizing and inspiring.  It is not just new love, new life but also rekindling memories .   That is the beauty of the mind that can wander, imagine and travel back in time that will make you sigh and smile.

 

Image may contain: text

walking in a daze
bedazzled by the chaste moon
recalling his scent

(c) Tournesol ’19/03/21

Winter s captive Daily Moments March 1 2019

Day 7,
silent chisels fill her head
ears that cannot hear

winter cold and flu
mockingly whisper
“Ha Ha, I got you!!

sleepless nights
coughing
chasing germs away

hope is in the air
taste slowly returns
first cup of java

© Tournesol ‘10/03/01

Daily Moments March 1, 2019 winter’s captive