Emily does not remember much of the unpleasant and scary for some reason. It’s like ghosts in the back of her brain. The good, happy, loving images are so vivid and when the ghosts try to poke at her and get to the forefront, she is never sure what is real. The details are blurred. She sees a little girl sitting on the steps at the back of her house, sulking or weeping for “no reason”.
“I’ll give you something to really cry about!” screams in her brain…a buckle on a belt flashes and then blackness.
Recalling unpleasant and scary is like trying to pick up a lost penny on the pavement with your toes.
Then feeling the warm, loving hugs and her soothing voice…remembering her comforting embrace is her safety net.
floating in and out
and blurred lines
floating in and out
latching on like…
recalling soothing hues
tangible – love
(c) tournesol ’19/08/15
What would you write in Chapter 2 of your life story?
Walking from the mall today, I noticed the rides were back on the property. They are a team from the Beauce and they are here about 3 or 4 times a year. They set up at the front of the mall and usually when I walk home from work late at night I use the back route since my home is behind the mall. Still I see five or six vans and trailers parked on the back side, so I know the fair is back in town.
Today, I wanted to take a few photos to savour some of the summer images we long for during those long frigid winter months. I like to pretend that I’m a kid again and going to the fair with my mom and sister. Just an image here, another there and I am back in time decades ago. I can even smell the food!
screams of joy and fear
Today, I treated myself to a mani-pedi at the Mall across the street. As the lady started working on my neglected feet, I took out my beads and relaxed and chanted my mantra silently. Usually one lady takes care of my feet and later I move to a table where another lady works on my hands. Today it was not as busy, another lady approached me with a bowl to soak my left hand while she started working on my right hand.
just like Dorothy pampering hands and feet in the land of Oz
It felt good to just be in the moment and relax. Later, I walked around aimlessly at The Bay and realized I wanted to continue doing “nothing” and came home to cocoon with my thoughts and my bff’s (best feline friends).
watching the leaves sway rustling with the wind Mother Nature’s blues
watching the leaves sway listening to sopranos cicadas shrill
rustling with the wind
like a full satin skirt
Mother used to wear
Mother Nature’s blues
giddy daisies dancing
to a summer’s breeze
After a long night sponging the sweat off her patient’s face, she felt her grip her brown spotted hand. “Ne t’inquiète pas…ça ne sera plus long ma fille, pousse fort une autre fois à la prochaine contraction.” * But then her weather-beaten face frowned…a tear rolled down her chin. The silence was deafening as she placed the white sweet smelling cloth over the young mother’s mouth while the father took the lid off the shoebox.
shuffling home weather-beaten hands holding a shoebox
Our host, Chèvrefeuille says: “This month our central theme is “on the trail with Basho”, because Basho was a traveling haiku poet as e.g. Santoka Taneda was in his time (1882-1940). This month we will (try) to follow Basho’s journeys through Japan. And this first haiku which I will share here is from one of his earlier haibun (or travel-journals), “The Records of a Weather-Exposed Skeleton” (Nozarashi Kiko) in which he describes his journey together with his disciple Chiri along the places described by Saigyo, Basho’s great role-model;”
This passed winter was long and cold. Spring came along mid-May. It was such a joy to see those tulips sprout from the earth. Reds, yellows and even white petals standing tall and strong despite spring winds. Even the rain could not push them around! Hope was painted on every smile when a passerby finally realized that summer was near.
And now in the heart of summer, tulips have been replaced by peonies and daisies…but still, she remembers with fondness, her Mother’s Day present…fresh picked tulips standing tall. If you take the time to notice, you might see one left standing…stronger than its peers.
last of the tulips stands by the building left with abandon
last of the tulips
longing for reds and yellows
waits for its time
stands by the building
scratchy and cold
bricks give no comfort
left with abandon
could stand up no more
feeding Mother Earth
Moving day in Québec has just passed in this part of her world like every year, July 1st when residents renew their leases. When she was a young child it was May 1st and she remembers many new classmates arriving at the end of the school year. It was not easy for the children to leave their friends and school and start anew in a strange school. That is why the provincial government, in 1973 decided it was better to end leases June 30th so children would not be penalized leaving their school before the end of their year and that is when Moving Day changed to July 1st. It is also a long weekend with Canada Day, so many renters who could not afford to take time off work had an extra day to move.
You will notice driving around urban streets in or near Montreal in mid-June to mid-July there are LOTS of junk, furniture, mattresses and many cardboard boxes on the side of the street. I suppose it is a busy and demanding time for the garbage collectors too. Notaries (in Quebec we have notaries and not lawyers to draw up house deeds) are very busy from April to July…well, more than usual. It might not be the best time to draw up a will…if you’re not in a hurry, that is.
Living close to a Salvation Army depot near the bus terminal, she notices piles and piles of clothes and furniture dumped after hours every day for the past few weeks. And, the curious and disrespectful rummage through the droppings, opening bags and pulling out garments and leaving them spread out in front of the door of the depot. She shakes her head in disgust and feels bad for the employees who have to clean up the mess every day when they come in to work. How discouraging is that? Some may argue, “Well, they are paid to do it.” Sure, they are but the time wasted on this is wasting lots of donation dollars too when they could be doing something else. Oh well, she can tsk tsk all day long and it won’t change people, now will it?
It is quite warm today at 28C and in the sun it is hot! She was planning to go the Montreal International Jazz Festival with her grandson but he thinks it is only jazz music and he is not a fan. She knows there is Blues, Reggae, Rap, Hip Hop and much more but it may be difficult to convince a teenager, so she will play it by ear. Maybe they can just walk around the Old Port after a nice dinner and see a late movie. That would be cool and since he is a night owl like she is, lateness is not an issue. Getting up the next day may be more problematic but she is off from work for two days and he is off for the summer. How she remembers those summer months. It was a perfect time to read a novel or two and work on your suntan. How times have changed with the ozone and the sun giving her rashes, she avoids it now. Well, her bikini body has gone and left her too!
It rains almost every day. The rainfall has drenched her flower pots and instead of seeing wild flowers, she picks a mushroom or two and throws it on the lawn. This is the first year she has set up so many flower boxes and pots filled with herbs. Well, Basil is looking promising…good strong plant, that one!
It is mid-day and as she sits in the warm shade, listening to birds chirping and negotiating with their moms for naptime and then the loud piercing shrill of the cicadas quiets everything! It reminds her of the noon time fire siren that would blare when she was a child in her hometown. The cicadas have a way of mesmerizing nature to a long-awaited nap and humans too seem to find their eyelids heavier after a meal…siesta time.
bushes cradling each flower
grinning at the sun
heavy with morning showers
raindrops on petals
bushes cradling each flower
spill over with affection
madonna and child
A wide mist covers the entire front lawn and hangs in the air a few long minutes…steady, wet but light. Then the wind picks up and mist turns to raindrops and the city workers in front get soaked! It’s a grey day today and the streets are wet and filled with puddles. Pedestrians risk getting splashed as the cars drive by way too fast, impatient to catch the light five houses down the road.
My feline friends are taking advantage of my day off and sleeping near me. I have caught up on some reading or more specifically discovering new blogs. I wish I had the time to visit my friends more often but I don’t so I drop by now and then and admire their talents. There are so many amazing photographers in this community that it is such a privilege to travel to various WordPress Galleries.
Today I will stick with photography and discovered this amazing blog…check out this post for you bird lovers at TinyLessonsBlog.
Thanks to MichelleMarie at TellMeAboutIt who is also an amazing photographer. and poet who shared a list of great blogs to discover. Later I may read a few poetry and story blogs if I have time. My grandson is coming over but then again, he is a teenager and may be plugged to some game or two rather than chat with Nana. That reminds me, I must make those brownies , suggested by Janice who also has a few blogs but I`ll share her blog of birds today at BirdBrain
What is so unique about this WordPress community is that I don’t even have to purchase a ticket to fly to any part of the world and visit awhile and get acquainted with “their world”.
Travelling solo Visiting tomorrow lands Returning today
Travelling solo Strangers becoming friends One blog at a time
Visiting tomorrow lands Jumping from summer To winter
Returning today Travelling coast to coast On one free ticket
Sitting on remnants of an old tree, she stretches her feet and rests them on the flat rock. Her toes dip into the cool water and she closes her eyes, allowing the river rapids to draw her in. Rumble, rumble, splash, spray, whoosh…hypnotic rhythm of the current.
Her mind is still not quite clear and she chants four Sanskrit words softly over and over and over. Her voice becomes part of the summer breeze and echoes over the waves. Soon, her mind is filled with memories of her mother smiling and laughing. The children are young and giggle at their Nanny as she sings a song with lyrics she makes up along the way.
many days have passed
hanging on a limb
many days have passed
sadness and joy
woven in time
hanging on a limb
rumbling with the rapids
pausing to appreciate
breathing in the joys
Another grey day and it’s the first day of summer [sigh]. She worries the skies won’t clear and again tonight she will not see that beautiful, humongous full moon. Well, no reason to fret all day and at least it’s not raining …yet. The weather has been unusual in the past few years. Extreme cold winters that last for months on end and no spring…well, hardly a spring that is.
People joke and say we only have two seasons now, but she thinks there are three…winter, sprummer and autumn. Winter lasts 6 months and sprummer and autumn negotiate every year for what they can get.
Tomorrow is her mother’s birthday and every year since her passing in 2014, she has a tradition. She goes to a town where she raised her children and where her mother would also come for picnics by the river rapids. She sits on a rock with her feet in the water and chants her mantra to the waves, remembering her presence. Tears of joy and melancholy run down her cheek and mix with the river’s splashing from the strong current, the rapids and the dam.
This year she will bring her grandson to the rapids. He’s almost fifteen, and may find it boring…unless, he brings his fishing rod [twinkle in her eye].
behind grey veils hanging with humility my summer moon