Shameless …the show (troibun)

Watching the series Shameless (not the original British version but the American) is like riding an emotional roller coaster. You feel pity, anger, sadness, surprise, joy and mostly there are times you face your own demons. Whatever those challenges you have gone through, be it being manipulated by narcissists or charming addictive personalities…the list is long and each viewer may be experiencing something different. However, outrageous as it may be it is raw and real. Dealing with poverty, questioning sexual orientation, puberty, first love and so much more, viewers will not be bored. There will be times you will hate the father, Frank and yet what would the show be without him. He is conniving and a bit too smart which adds to his manipulative nature.

using and dealing
living life
unknown tomorrows

using and dealing
drugs, alcohol and money
comes and goes

living life
recovering from battle
one day at a time

unknown tomorrows
only rewards
lost memories

Watching Season 7, Episode 11 brings stabs at my heart rekindling that feeling Fiona has, as she leaves a special person in assisted living.

reading her face
lines of confusion
I’m wretched with guilt

reading her face
looking at me one last time
taking her last breath

No matter which season or episode you watch, you learn something as long as viewers get off their high horse or get their stick out of their ‘bleep’.

(c) Tournesol 18/10/05

What do you do when you are finished the series?  Watch the original British version of Shameless on Netflix of course if you have not already.

who will remove all the weeds? (Troibun)

(c)Clr’18

She sits in her armchair, her feline friend loyally by her side on her comfy bench. A time to think of life past and present not knowing what the future will bring. One lives a life filled with hope as a child, moments of despair as a teen filled with hope and fairy tales, somewhat like a garden. And then becomes an adult and reality settles in…

Adulthood brings puzzlement and how many seeds to plant and how to remove the weeds. Mistakes and suffering only bring more valuable life lessons.

Middle age seeks passion and discernment, finding a bigger terrain that will house the most thriving and nourishing garden. If one is fortunate, they will be rewarded with their dream garden filling all their needs especially that of compassion in helping new seedlings to flourish into beautiful flora despite broken stems or torn leaves.

Such a rich terrain makes room for a harvest filled with her first love since she was a child, to continue nurturing and healing the wounded and broken petals. Discovering such grounds has become her reward and blessing… the end of that road leading to her own fairy tale.

Another phase in the life cycle…one no longer calls the 60’s old age because women and men are usually more active and needed in appreciated in society especially for their hard-earned wisdom. They work well into their 80’s and so she is pleased to continue, still breathing the passion for such toils.

Time passes and she struggles to find the time and energy to tend to young seedlings and perennials overcome with intruders. Such nuisances we call weeds are the consequences of new tillage governed by those who do not understand the true meaning of tending to the heart of a garden, taking time to weed out the bad with care, gently and not intrusive.

Alas, this seasoned gardener is overcome with such changes and unhealthy rules; she strives to tend as best she can…loving every seedling and plant in her tillage that has become her life’s passion. She continues to feel a weight of conflicting rules, she also feels defeated at times and knows not how long her garden will continue to flourish. For now, she perseveres and follows her heart despite the bloody weeds and interference, but for how long before the flowers are overwhelmed by weeds?

tilling the soil
overcome with weeds
twilight enters

tilling the soil
remembering better times
room to grow

overcome with weeds
on her knees praying
for a miracle

twilight enters
clouds hiding harvest moon
seedlings cry in wait

© Tournesol’18/09/20

Daily Moments – Who will remove all the weeds? – Troibun Sept 20/18

cycle of life (Troibun)

She loves this time of year. Flowers are in bloom overflowing in gardens. Four more weeks admiring the golds, lavender and magenta before leaves start their own autumn performance.

overgrown gardens
hanging on
until death befalls

overgrown gardens
boasting
with beauty

hanging on
caterpillar on a twig
transforms with wings

until death befalls
petals form an undercoat
autumn leaves

 

 

leaves

© Tournesol ‘18/08/20

Daily Moments August 20 2018  and Haiku Horizons.

Dear Emma (haibun)

I wrote a post this afternoon to you, Emma,  but cyberspace was very hungry, I guess, and it ate the whole darn thing!  Let’s see.  I was telling you about my plans to visit two amazing friends.  One I can only see once a year when she comes from Brazil to visit her daughter in Toronto.  The other is a friendship that grew over time who I will also be visiting in Ontario.

I met my friend from Brazil through an old boyfriend and we connected immediately.  I felt we were like soulmates.   I guess there is nothing to explain that…it is a feeling you get with some rare and unique people in a lifetime.

Each time I spend time with this friend, I grow on so many levels.  She is an artist as well as a therapist and so since I cannot draw, I paint my canvas with words and am also a counsellor.  We have children of similar ages and share starting life over, or ending it (however you want to look at it) on our own, like big girls.

My other friend is brilliant, creative, rational and warm.  Where I am touchy freely, she is artistic and a doer.  I admire her tenacity and although life has thrown her several curved balls, she has succeeded in ways, I am not sure I could have.  Her strength is what also sustains me. We connected first at work and I felt inclined to share my poetry with her right from the beginning.  Our friendship just blossomed over time.

After spending time with these two amazing women, on my drive or train ride back home, I feel so inspired and have the urge to write about it.  I feel I grow creatively, spiritually, emotionally, intellectually and physically because I feel a bit taller, sticking my chest out and holding my head up high.  I so look forward to seeing them both next week.

Well, Emma, I don’t think I told it like it was on my first draft but the essence is there. Thanks for listening, as always.

seasoned minds
sharing life
past and present

past and present
fears and joys shared
future in between

(c) Cheryl-Lynn

 

mind over matter (haibun)

© Northern Lights – Alien Study

Hot, heavy dampness hangs in the air, as she rocks in front of her window looking out over the river. The air conditioner is on the fritz again and the fans that had been running 24/7 give little breeze to comfort even an ant.  The temperatures are unforgiving at 40C and 92% humidity.

The house is silent except for the creaking of her rocking chair and the buzz of useless fans. Her breathing has finally calmed after her morning paroxysm of asthma. The weather in the past few weeks has forced her to use up all her sick days. She does not know how she will manage now with the weeks ahead if she is  unable to get to work…again. Her wheezing becomes louder and she knows she has to calm her thoughts or else she will have another asthma attack.

She often tries to use her imagery times like this. Placing a wet cold compress on her forehead she imagines she is in the Northwest Territories, hearing the crunchy sound of her feet on the snow as she walks outside. She is dressed in a down filled parka and snow pants and white clouds escape her mouth when she exhales. Night has already fallen and she waits patiently for signs from “the other side”. Looking up at the sky, she starts noticing the different hues lighting up the heavens and she is dizzy with joy;  she kneels in reverence, listening to the echoes of her ancestors. A veil of calm envelopes her until a piercing whistle from her tea kettle brings her back to reality.

lighting up the skies
blues, pinks and green waver
message from beyond
living in comfort
in her mind’s eye

(c) Tournesol’18/09/13

Written for: Mindlovemiserysmenagerie and Wordle

Calescent ((adj.) growing warm; increasing in heat)
Sheets
Paroxysm ((n.) any sudden, violent outburst; a fit of violent action or emotion: a severe attack or a sudden increase in intensity of a disease)
Temperature
Tea Kettle
Window
Breeze
Kneel
Forehead
Dizzy
Damp
Comfort

Bonus word: Sick Day

 

 

Daily Moments  August 12 2019  Melancholy soulmate Troibun

(c)Clr’18

The sun poked through the drapes of her bedroom but she refused to accept daylight, turning over and allowing the darkness of her duvet to shield her from the living.

She had started a paranormal romance the day before and her dreams were mixed with romance and family stories. It was very confusing as her life intermingled with the novel and frankly, kept her quite busy all night. The darkness is what clung to her mostly and comforted her at the same time.

Finally, she got up and fed her hungry feline friend, made a pot of coffee and sat down to finish the novel. It was a nice escape from her life and her melancholy, her soulmate for many years.

When the sun slipped below the horizon, she shivered slightly and just stared out the window… numb. The silence seemed to sooth her.

(A Troiku)

wrapped in darkness
tending to her solitude
soft grey grimness

wrapped in darkness
finally
seeing light

tending to her solitude
enveloped in safety
quietude

soft grey grimness
like a dear old friend
comforting her

(c) Tournesol ’18/09/12

Daily Moments  August 12 2019  Melancholy soulmate  Troibun

 

Daily moments escaping dreams August 11 2018 (troibun)

 

At four in the morning, she rose with a huge sigh of relief looking around her bedroom. Her thoughts still in her adventuresome dream. She lay back, hoping to find some peace. Tossing and turning her feline friend left her side for a calmer bed.

A piercing alarm startled her awake and she lay quietly trying to collect herself. Was this a dream she had? Someone was trying to kill her and the environment was so chaotic. Suddenly it became a beauty salon with clothes scattered on the floor. All was quite frightening until an old friend she had not seen in a decade walks in nonchalantly. He remains quiet yet the atmosphere felt safer.

dreams
chasing her
slumber’s clutch

dreams
turning
into nightmares

chasing her
running frantically
in thin air

slumber’s clutch
changing screenplays
amid sleep cycles

© Tournesol ‘18/09/11

Daily moments escaping dreams August 11 2018

Daily moments – end of week treat (haibun)

 

(c)Clr’18

Daily reflections end of week treat Haibun

This week has not been easy at work and I only had 3 days to work!! Today is day 3 and it is a little better. With the heat and humidity, our office, again, was stuck with no AC. Yep, that is correct. The building manager sent a maintenance guy up on Tuesday who I saw up on a ladder checking out the ceiling. His prognosis (if I can call it that) was that someone in our office called up a maintenance guy to SHUT OFF all the vents. Really?!! That is the friggin[I am so polite to say friggin] excuse they gave us.

And so I have an industrial fan next to my workstation that is constantly on. Can you imagine the sound of that while taking calls? I mean these are often crisis calls. Well, Tuesday, I was feeling ill slowly and finally stayed even an hour late but when I got home, I was so happy to be in my AC cooled apartment and this year I even have one in my bedroom. But Wednesday morning, I was not feeling too good…I kept snoozing the alarm and finally got up at noonish and got to work 5 mins late. I had supervision as soon as I was getting in to boot. Fortunately, I do have a very understanding supervisor. He got it that the hot humid weather is affecting me especially my migraines. By the end of the shift it was getting about two degrees cooler…like 26 to 27C and no longer 29.

Today was the same struggle getting up as I had another migraine. I kept snoozing the phone at least 10 times. I know , silly, right?! Even my cat, Bette, was getting agitated jumping onto my bed meowing and insisting I start paying attention to her before I left for work. So I finally got up, and decided not to make a lunch but just bring fruit and treat myself tonight during my lunch break (lunch means between 5pm. To 7pm for evening workers).

And so here I am sitting at the Green Panther savouring a Falafel with a cuppa coffee with soy milk and the piece de resistance is my Chewapy cookie which is shortbread with cashew and cranberries. I will bring that back to the office and in between calls or my last break I will inhale with my coffee. A really nice way to finish off my work week.

This is for Linda Hill’s Friday Reminder of Saturday’s Stream of Conciousness….I am a bit late but I am enjoying writing this at this cool Vegan restaurant.

Sipping java
Breaking away from a sad call
Inspired to write

© Tournesol ’18–09-09

Plain Jane (troibun) Daily moments Aug.9/18

It was another hot and humid day. Commuters boarded the bus one by one, quiet and as soon as one sat down, they slid open a window next to or above them. Even open, there was no air. One older woman sat at the back and got her oriental fan out. The woman continued fanning until the bus crossed the bridge and a slight breeze came off the river.

Another woman who had sat on the side changed seat to sit higher up. Perhaps to be closer to the window and feel a bit of wind. A piece of brown hand paper was sticking out of her nose. It looked like she was trying to control a nosebleed. Her wet shoulder length blonde hair was pulled back in a pony tail. She had extra big sunglasses on. There was something about her. It looked like she had black eyeliner and it was a really thick line. She looked stoic, not reading or listening to music like many commuters…just staring out the window in front of her.

Just as the bus entered the terminal, the blonde tilted to the left and one could see she had a very black eye and it was not makeup. Getting off the bus, she disappeared in a sea of commuters.

Hidden in a crowd
One in a million faces
Nameless

Hidden in a crowd
Unnoticed
To each his own

One in a million faces
Who can pick out the victims
Suffering in silence

Nameless
Feeling safe playing Plain Jane
No one sees her

©Tournesol ’18-09-08
Daily moments Plain Jane. Troibun

Heeding Haiku with Chevrefeuille – we are asked to write a Troiku created by Chevrefeuille.`

mile high ride (haibun)

Sitting in the back of the plane, they held tight during take off. As soon as the light went on to unbuckle the seat-belt, they both lit up their Mark Ten cigarettes. It was 1977 and people could still smoke in the back rows of a plane in those days.

It was their first trip overseas. Heck, it was their first time in a plane. They had booked a tour of England, Scotland and Wales for two weeks. The wife’s ulterior motive was to conceive their first child in the UK, the birthplace of her paternal grandparents.

After a few hours, the plane felt like it was going over pot holes on Quebec roads. The couple were scared and did not realize that turbulence can do that but does not mean there was any danger. The woman seated next to them on the aisle tried to reassure the couple who looked out the window with doe eyes. One could not mistake it was their very trip in the air.

By the time they arrived at Heathrow Airport, they were so relieved they had landed! They still had to take the train into London, then a taxi to their hotel. They were staying at the Green Park Hotel just across the park that brings you to Buckingham Palace. But they didn’t know that yet.

They looked like typical tourists walking on the streets of London, hesitating crossing the the street, not knowing which side to look in their matching bright yellow and green hoodies.

Cotton candy ride
Bumper cars, roller-coasters
Crossing overseas

© Tournesol ‘18/09/06