Day 70 ~visiting joy haibun

Getting her living room ready for a long overdue visit felt good. She mops the floor of dust and chat hairs; it is still quite hot outside at 28C, so she keeps the windows closed and AC on. Looking at her watch she decides to relax a bit before her visit but not before adding a touch of lipstick and then the chimes of her phone announce her virtual visit.

How her heart fills with joy chatting, laughing and just enjoying the visit with a person she met almost twenty years ago. After a long pleasant chat, she checks the air on her balcony and sighs with relief…finally turns the AC off and enjoys the quiet with the windows open, smelling the scent of new life.

Tree branches stretch
Belated foliage unfolds
soft breeze brings solace

© Tournesol ‘2020/05/22

Day 62 – budding promise ~May 15 2020 (haibun)

I remember as a first time mom how much I questioned  so much about the health and safety of our son. His first fall, I held him in my arms and cried with him…and cried some more even after he had stopped, whispering over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”.

Parents in general are very proud of their children and some also like to boast…”Oh, he said his first word at “blank”…or “Oh, your son still doesn’t have teeth? Mine has five already.” Most times, you try to shrug it off but once you get home you take out Dr. Spock or any other paediatric bible you have for reassurance.

I remember our paediatrician, who was a teacher at McGill and the Head of paediatrics at the Jewish General Hospital would take phone calls from worried moms every morning from 7:30 am to 8:00am.  What a godsend!  Once he replied to my question that our son’s  teeth would be stronger if they come in later. Hmm, well, that reassured me. I tried not to boast too much  except with my mom, of course.  As a nana though I don’t hold back…grandparents have brag rights…it is WRITTEN…somewhere…:)

Today, it is May 15th and the lawns and landscapes are still quite bare.   At least it is not snowing but it would be so nice to start having some greenery on those trees. I am not even asking for flowers…just leaves! But I must have patience and embrace the tiny signs of growth…

(c) Clr 2020/05/15

limbs in wait
blossoms spreading slowly
budding promise
late bloomers growing stronger
bringing hope to the world

© Tournesol ‘2020/05/15

Day 50, May 2 2020 defying the enemy haibun

After two days of cleaning and washing she decides to go out for a walk. It was so warm all she needed was a light pullover. She filled her pockets with necessities: tissue, mask in a Ziploc bag, latex gloves, her health card and something she has never done before…she wrote up an Emergency card with her Allergy, contacts of her doctor, pharmacy, her two children on a business card. Now she felt better and put her keys around her neck and her mala beads.

She likes her street because everyone is respectful of social distancing. Not everyone smiles and answers her greeting, but that’s okay. When she turned onto another street she almost bumped into two young children on their bikes. One snickered and thought it was funny that they pretended to run into her. The first one made her chuckle thinking it was all innocent but she was disappointed that the parents did not even acknowledge her greeting or tell their child to be more careful. After the second child darted at her, she decided to walk very far from any future children on bikes. Maybe they see her as one of the main reasons for this lockdown. The media and politicians keep saying how this lockdown is to keep older people alive and she wonders if this is starting to feel like too much of a sacrifice for many. It is sad that people do not look at updates for there are many people between 25 to 45 that are testing positive and deaths are not high among this group but any death is too much, right?

She starts chanting her mantra silently and walking for about twenty minutes and then decides to change the Jazz on her phone to R & B. Suddenly her step matches the beat and each song she adds is just a bit faster. She is just soaking up music of Ben E. King, Daft Punk, The Four Tops and Santana… and after almost 4 K, then she chooses a slower beat to cool down and walks around the block twice before getting back into her condo.

Music picks her up
Feels her heart fly
High on endorphins

Clouds form shapes
Etched on blue canvas
Divine Artist paints

People chatting
Smiling and laughing
From a safe distance

Joy burgeons
Defying the enemy
Pure bliss wins

Ending her day with a video call warms her heart and she knows she will have a good night’s sleep tonight.

Connecting with loved ones
virtual home visits
Nature’s sedative

© Tournesol ‘2020/05/02

Daily moments – Day 48 Meal break (haibun)

During her lunch break she wanted to go out for a walk but there were too many people walking the street. Some two by two, a teen on roller blades and cyclist in shorts. Resigning to taking the garbage out, she felt she might soak up the sun for a few minutes. When she walked out her heart skipped a beat…”No, don’t close the gate yet, I need to bring mine”…standing at 5 metres from them she felt her heart swell…

finally spring
showing its warmth
sun beaming

finally spring
forced her out
a brief moment

showing its warmth
two ladies by the dumpster
excites her

sun beaming
halos circle their heads
smiling at me

She is not alone. That is what the isolation makes you feel as if you are alone feeling what feel. The women both nodded that they had good days and bad days. Yes!! It was such a relief to speak to live women close to her age …we share the love for our offspring, the worry, the longing. And even though it is a sad reality, she walked back to her unit with a lighter foot.

she’s okay
speaking to live humans in person
sighs

© Tournesol 2020/04/29

Daily moments – Day 48 Meal break (haibun)

Day 42 rock, paper, scissors (haibun) Apr 24, 2020

So many people were out;  some looked content others look serious and walked with purpose.  A few only exposed their eyes.

It appeared chilly since many were still wearing wool tuques and scarves.  At least in our winters and spring here we can lift a scarf over our mouth and nose without it looking out of place…too much. She is debating whether she should  go out or not.    She looks from her balcony wringing her dry hands like an old scared woman.

Strangers on her street
Face masks, the new spring fashion
peeks from her window

trying to catch up
youngster pedals with a purpose
father in slow motion

sanitizers flow
exhaustion showers over her
toxins linger

(c)  Tournesol ‘2020/04/24  Daily Moments Day 42

Day 40 -Earth Day Haibun April 22, 2020

 

Last day of my three day work week and not  too soon.  Struggling to sleep at night when the rest of the building seems to sleep  late…a neighbour that walks with heavy feet anytime from midnight to three in the  morning makes for a short night.  I am sure she does not realize this and since I am a new owner here, I have not had a chance to meet anyone except for the owner downstairs, who I have told to bang on the ceiling anytime if I am too noisy or the music or tele is too loud.

I am such a light sleeper  so even if I go to bed at 8 or 9 which I did last night, I woke up with a start  at midnight and struggled to get back to sleep hours later. Ear plugs do not seem to muffle the vibration of a person banging a closet door or plodding . I’ve chosen to sleep with my earbuds listening to  music with the volume low and yet…

rubber limbs
floating on an astral plane
snapping back
rumbling clouds shudder
from the third floor

Snow greeted me this morning on my patio as a mid-spring scenery.

Earth Day
bicentennial
snow on our lawns
so much for Mother Earth
giving us the finger

I took a nice bubble bath before my shift and watched a few short videos celebrating Earth Day.

The morning was not too bad but during lunch, I couldn’t help but check on the news to hear updates and that can get me nervous and frustrated. Lately, I notice a bubbling impatience inside my chest. Our province is still rising…over half of the country’s stats. How can you ever get used to hearing about deaths? Two friends told me this week they lost a relative…reality sucks! Whether it is 1 or 100 (which is nothing compared to Europe, I know and I can only imagine how scary it must be too…but still a life multiplied by xxxx is always too much.

My calls were more frenzied in the afternoon and it took a lot for me to concentrate…trying to ignore the simmering storm.

sadness and angst
listening to their suffering
pulses rising
muted implosions
licking salty lips

© Tournesol ‘2020/04/22

Day 40 and Earth Day (daily moments)

Letting go (haibun) daily moments april 19 2020

(c) Clr ‘2019

Watching a stand up comic she bursts out laughing. It is such a wonderful distraction these days. The third comic show, she starts weeping and doesn’t know why…or does she?

Salty tears
Drawing paths on wrinkled cheeks
Laugh therapy

Laugh therapy
coming from a secret place
finally letting go

© Tournesol ‘2020-04-19
Daily Moments – letting go

Dear Emma April 18 2020 ~ Haibun

Tick tock
Toss and turn
Mind won’t shut off!

May as well stay up and drop when I can no longer stay awake. It’s Saturday today…soon the sun will come up. I went for a teeny tiny walk last night after I brought the garbage out. It was after nine and no one was on the street except for one young man busy talking on his phone. I just walked up and down my street twice, staying within my close quarters since I had not brought my cane or walking stick and you just never know when that knee will give way, so it came out to 2km. I’m pleased with that. I think I will continue walking at that time each night. Granted I would love to soak up the sun in the daytime but with the cool weather we’ve been having, wind comes along with the sunny skies and evenings it just seems calmer and feels warmer.

I surfed the net a bit to see how the world was coping…I found an interesting segment from France covered byFrance 24which is aired weekly. Oh my, to see the drones the police are using to check up on people who are not abiding with social distancing!!! That is pretty awesome actually but like one woman cyclist with her two children commented, it does feel futuristic and one wonders if you are doing to get attacked by the drones. It’s a great idea actually and saves a lot of manpower so police can also be available for emergencies rather than patrolling street by street, park after park.

I noticed our police patrol Easter Sunday. Good thing they came by a few hours after this couple rendezvoused in front of my building. He brought her a gift and stretched out his arm to hand it to her. Then they spoke briefly a good two metres apart. She had leggings and a nice long sweater hanging off one shoulder and four inch heels!! I kid you not! It was so adorable to see them. They looked in their late thirty’s or mid forty’s. I found it so romantic! Hey, I don’t get to see much these days, so this was a real life treat And I even wrote about it on my an Easter datealong with a haiku on Sunday.

No photo description available.

I ordered watercolours and paper this week. I am kicking myself for having given all my paints, crayons and artsy things when I moved here. Who knew I would have so much time on my hands that I could relax trying to paint? I have never really painted with watercolours except fooling around with my grandson and when I was a kid but lately I found a few Youtubers who explain it well and I want to try. My goal is to make greeting cards, just for fun and maybe even create lovely haiga with my artwork. So far, I have only done haiga with my photos but it would be a nice change. If I don’t succeed at least I will have practiced an art form that relaxes me.

Years ago I had to take some art courses to be accepted in an Art Therapy class at my university. So I took 24 lessons in oil painting. I did not really find I did anything pretty but every week those three hours went by like ten minutes.

It’s 5:30 and I’m not sure I will be able to stay up until the sun comes up. My eyes are getting a bit heavy (finally). I think I will have breakfast so hunger will not wake me up at 8am and I can sleep in as late as I want. Yes, that is a great idea!

Thanks for listening, Emma. There are not many people I can talk their ear off at this time and you are such a great listener.

Night sounds
Hum of the fridge
The old cat snores

© Tournesol ‘2020-04-18

April 17 2020 ~video chats rescue ~ haibun

Image may contain: cat

 

Ah if only I could disconnect like my feline friends.  I hear one snore softly.  I felt pumped when I first woke up and seeing the sunny skies.  The sun was so warm, the bedroom temperatures went up I had to open the windows.  And then I watched the news…

bursts of energy
sun beams through my window
lifting spirits

dark clouds
menacing those light blue skies
hold uncertainty

emotions
riding the roller coaster
little engine doubts
I think I can, I know I can
because I have a plan

there is no shame
in reaching out
call out their name

so comforting
a face smiling back at me
YOU, inside my screen!

Feeling pumped again after a nice video chat with my son and daugther in law…yes, I definitely can get through these times.

© Tournesol ‘2020/04/17 Daily moments

A visit I had a few weeks ago from my son and daughter in law …can’t really have that anymore.  Police are patrolling regularly now.

 

trust in the universe ~ Haibun ~ April 15/20

Three hours of sleep reads her Fitbit. Hmmm, that’s odd, and yet she feels refreshed this morning. She runs a bath and prepares her coffee at the same time. She seems to have energy today despite the lack of sleep. She strips her bed and prepares for laundry and finally when her coffee is ready she slips into her bubble bath and turns on her tablet to watch something silly on Netflix, The Big Show.

A great way to start her day and once dressed and logged onto her laptop, she feels an energy she has not felt in weeks.

The universe gave her what she needed.

isolation
digging at their psyches
discovering normal

offering hope
exploring
possibilities

© Tournesol ‘2020/04/15