Bodily functions (SoCS)

A chat about bodily functions is our prompt today at Linda Hill’s SoCS, which brought to mind a funny story.  When my daughter was pregnant in 2004, I was starting menopause.  We would go shopping together and suddenly she would let out gas and then move aisle very quickly whispering to me why. We would giggle because I was starting the same problem.  So here we were at both ends of the spectrum of womanhood, farting away at our leisure and not caring at all.  Is fart a bad word, by the way?  I am part French, so we are bit more open about our language and translated in English may sound rude, so I apologize if that is not easy to read.

On to another memory with my daughter again seeing her singing in The South Shore Children’s Chorus.  The choir would sing songs from Les Miserable and they sounded so beautiful that I could not hold back my tears.  At the end of the show, she came up to me, tight lipped and squinting eyes, asking why I was crying!  I tried to explain to her that when Mommy is overwhelmed with beauty, I am moved to tears.  Well! this 10-year-old was having nothing of it.  On future presentations, I sat further away so she would not see me weep of joy.  What can I say?  I cry when I am happy, moved, tired of pain and sad.

Now lastly, since I have been struggling so much over the years and even more so in the past two years, my joint pain is something I dream of finding relief EVEN if it were for once a week. Once a week not having the pain wake me up when I roll over. Once a week when I get up, I don’t feel knives jabbing in my knees.  For over thirty years I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis of my neck along with Fibromyalgia. Finally, I found a rheumatologist who found I had rheumatism on my collar bones (hence why my shoulders hurt so much and is not because I type too much), a mix of osteoarthritis, arthritis and rheumatism made me sigh with relief because those conditions are considered more real than Fibromyalgia (in society and the medical field).   The sad part is my GP does not want to treat me, just suggests I retire which has no way of making my body feel better and I am waiting for a new rheumatologist since the other one moved.

But, on a good note, I am hopeful.  Last May I went to Vancouver, BC. where cannabis is sold in many shops and purchased a jar of MJ cream to see if that might relieve the pain. It did nothing but  a tiny tingle on my neck, nothing on my knees or shoulders.   So, when I came back to Montreal, I asked my GP if she would consider giving me a prescription for cannabis.  That was June 20th and I only received a response from one dispensary in response to my request for membership along with my doctor’s prescription.  They certainly took their time.  But I want to try different things to find some relief. When I say try something, I certainly am not interested in the THC high however I realize in some of the teas or creams have to have a little bit.  Well, we shall see when I drop by sometime this week to check out Club Compassion.  Wish me luck!

(c) Cheryl-Lynn Roberts

 

Written for the Friday Prompt for Saturday’s Stream of Consciousness.

Dear Emma, and a Cherita

Dear Emma,

When I was a child, I remember picking up my bellbottom pants at the dressmaker one time. In the early 60’s I could not find any kind of long pants or jeans that were long enough and slim enough. In those days, Marilyn Monroe was the fashionable shape. Although Twiggy was slowly becoming a trend, in my part of the world, it was still more common for women to be shorter and curvier. Alas, I was pretty much a straight line more like Olive Oil at between twelve and fourteen.

Another client was just leaving the dressmaker as I was entering and she asked me how my mother and grandmother were doing. Of course, I shared the latest updates on my newly divorced mother and lifesaver grandmother who had taken us in not realizing I may have been a bit too open. Being naïve, then, was just assuming that people always inquired about you because they cared.

I remember trying on the charcoal grey bellbottoms and was so excited they fit like a glove and were long enough to wear with a boot or higher healed show. That was the beauty of tailor made clothes. Fortunately, her fees were very reasonable and in fact, less expensive than going to a designer shop to purchase clothes.

As I was leaving, the dressmaker looked at me seriously and said, “You must be careful. You are such an open book and you never know the true intentions of people when inquiring about you and your family.” I could tell she was concerned for me and I always tried to remember her wise words, but still, it is still difficult for me to think anyone would want to hurt me intentionally. And so years went by and I learned the hard way. I find learning through life experience teaches more, don’t you? What have you learned better through experience rather than through teachings of another person?

( a cherita)

a child runs freely through the woods

Stumbling on hidden roots and branches
Scraping arms and knees along the way

Fastforward several decades
Walking through the woods, listening to the birds singing
Leaves rustling, she leans on her walking stick

© Cheryl-Lynn ‘18/09/06

Daily Moments with Emma – August 9th, 2018

Father`s Day, this June 18, 2017

me as a childHe crawled on his hands and knees and made me laugh; he tickled me until my tummy muscles hurt; he took me on car rides in wooded areas…just he, me and

©clr`17 GrandPapa

my sister.  He played the mean old man just for fun so he could quickly turn into my saviour and took me in his arms to rescue me. He was my saint and still is my saint to whom I pray when I feel frightened and vulnerable…Merci, Grand-Papa! You also passed Father’s Day weekend, giving me, every year, time to truly thank you for being in my life.

He pushed me and encouraged me and instilled determination and hard work. He believed in me and knew I was smart and could do better. He wanted more than me sometimes and yet, he made me see my potential. He was fond of me and even named his daughter after me. Thank you Mr. Lagacé, for being a teacher who saw more in me than I could fathom…I succeeded despite many obstacles…I DID it and you planted the seed.

 

He looks upon me with pride; the love he feels is overwhelming. He’s gentle; he’s funny and makes me feel so special. I even feel a bit possessive with he has girlfriends and wonder if I will lose my place…he protected me from wolves and walked me down the aisle as my “dad” at my wedding.  He will always be a Dad to me.  Bonne Fête des Pères, Bernie.

 

How I loved my Fridays after school!  I’d go with Jane and have supper with her family.  If I was late or did not go, he would say,”Where is Lynn?  It’s Friday!”  He taught me to be proud of my slender (lanky to me silhouette); He convinced me to stop nail-biting so I could one day show off my engagement ring on my finger. (That actually worked at the young age of 13!) He counted me as one of his daughters…for a night or two or three sometimes…Thank you,  Mr. Wilkins for making me feel special.

©Clr;17 Mom & Fred

He took me for my first drink after winning a college scholarship at 17 years old. He stood by Mom when I walked down the aisle, with pride. He paced the floors for hours when I was in labour…he was always there…Thank you Fred for making Mom feel so loved and for being a Dad to me. You left us June 18th and making this year even more memorable, on Father’s Day.   I love  you and still miss you, Fred.

 

Fall2005FamilyMaeFred_12
©Clr`17 Uncle Fred and Ma Tante Mae

It took me 45 years to feel that specialness a “Dad” can bestow on an older daughter.  Remember those teenage years and young adulthood when you were in love?  Remember when your father wanted to “check him out” to make sure your heart would not be broken.  Well,  I was a late bloomer!  I remember when I lived with my aunt and uncle and sometimes I would hang up the phone and say, “Oh, gee I have a date. What am I going to wear?” He would smile and sit on the couch with his lovely mate  (Ma Tante Mae) who was as excited as me.  The fashion show would commence and he’d look, smile and sometimes raise an eyebrow.  The raised eyebrow was probably a more sexy outfit 😉  He would tell me discreetly, “Be careful not to fall head over heels too quickly and get hurt.”  To which I would say, “I may need  your shoulder to cry on if that happens.” And I did and he was there. Thank you Uncle Fred for being such a cool and understanding dad!

And Dad,  no matter how distant our relations were over the years, I still remember how special I felt if you would “Wink”  or say, “How’s it going,  Kiddo?” and my heart would melt.  I know you were always proud of us and in those last few years you mellowed and you let me see a softer side of you. I love you, Dad!

Happy Father’s Day to fathers world wide and for those special men who really make a difference with their selfless love.

 

Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling

©Cheryl-Lynn ’17

a friend forever…(free verse- haiku)

marie

As you wear your Eternity scarf, think of me…

Friends come into our lives for a reason,
some friendships last but a season
you know, that passage in one’s life
when we can share a similar strife?

some friendships last for a lifetime
like those spangled stars that shine
never ever required to question
always knowing that compassion
between two loyal soulmates
can never ever be broken
because the seeds were sown
possibly many lives ago

our challenges and suffering
our passion for our families
our undying love for offspring
but most of all our special bond
enduring and transparent
will always always stand
every test of time
now and forever…
© Cheryl-Lynn ’17/01/25

sown with care
cultivated
on fertile ground

on fertile ground
fostered to fulfilment
budding promise

budding promise
stretching every petal
coming into flower

coming into flower
it’s time to migrate
enrich new ground

©Tournesol’17/01/25

on fertile ground/at Jeunesse Jécoute/you blossomed/ it’s now time to multiply / all the beauty of your heart

Ce n’est pas un au revoir, à plus…mon amie

Five Years at WordPress

5 Year Anniversary Achievement

Five years already on this blog.  How time has changed. It started as a “thinking out loud” blog, sometimes getting on my soapbox and that was why I started Stop the Stigma.  I moved on to short stories, then poetry all under the name “Cher Shares” and now it is Tournesol dans un Jardin with only Waka (Japanese poetry forms) which I grown to not only enjoy writing but has helped me on many spiritual levels and grieving my mom.

Up until two years ago, I posted maybe once a month and now I try to post daily…so it may be five years but it really feels more like two since I started taking this more seriously.

Thanks to followers who have been patient with all my transformations like someone who changes hair style often.

Cheryl-Lynn aka Tournesol

 

 

Care Bear Hugs (senryû)

© clr A true Rock Star, he will be missed
© clr                                                        A true Rock Star, he will be missed

I’ll miss that smile
soothing presence like balm
Care Bear hugs.

those innuendos
making me feel young and sexy
twinkle in your  lie eye

they’ll all split their wings
you’ll have them laughing so hard
angels in heaven

© Cheryl-Lynn ’14/07/21

Random Questions

Here are my responses to Random Questions posted by Rants and Runs

1. What’s my favourite word?

Word eh?   Gee, I don’t know, I do use “eh” a lot because I am Canadian and half French, “eh” it is.
2.  What’s my least favourite word?

Well, I can’t write that here but it starts with  “c”

3.  What turns you on? Really? Well, the edited version is a brilliant, curious mind, kind heart, warm smile, a gentle touch at the small of my back…um, I’ll have to leave the rest for my other blog…haha

4.  What turns you off?   Snobs

5.  What sound or noise do you love?  Ocean waves

6.  What sound or noise do you hate?   Renovation sounds like sanding or drilling in a work building and trying to work.

7. What’s your favourite curse word? F….of course cos it’s an adjective, verb and noun…multi-purpose

8.  What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? United Nations  interpreter

9.  What profession would you not like to do? Hotel clerk because they are NOT appreciated for all that they have to endure nor paid enough for it.

10.  If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You thought this life was tough, wait until you see your next reincarnation!

© Cheryl-Lynn ’14/07/21

 

Filled with grace (haiku)

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

After communicating for months with Karuna, from Living, Learning and Letting Go, we did finally meet. I was blessed to have such a seasoned devotee of Amma. She was able to describe some of the traditions, the events that would take place each day. And thanks to her wise guidance, I was able to take advantage of every moment I could of being in the presence of this amazing sage, Amma.

I had shared with Karuna, that I uarrived here with an open mind but a heavy heart. Who does not have weight on their shoulders and in their heart? Such is life, non? But being in the presence of such a powerful, wise, loving and compassionate person, one can only naturally sway from grey or dark thoughts to brighter and hopeful reflections. Four days in such divine presence and four times blessed with a warm embrace…that’s right, I had four hugs in those four days.

Within a few hours, I could feel a divine presence and the attachment everyone had to their “mother- amma”; so many people shared their stories from past encounters; people who found their true love after speaking and embracing Amma, how special they felt when she held them, how more special one felt than another…and I could not help but see us all as children in pecking order to get our “mother’s” attention…see me, Mother, see how special I am!” I could not help but smile at that thought.

Did I sleep much? Not really, for it was also the full moon on Saturday/Sunday morning so we stayed up until 6 am. I will not go into detail to describe the events for Karuna and other writers would do this justice far better than me.

I did purchase a few items, (shopper that I am…but hey! it IS for a good cause!!) I started with a lovely scarf/shawl that I wore for my first hug, so it is now blessed. I also purchased a beautiful handmade book cover, a business card holder, beaded necklace and bracelet (the bracelet is practical for reciting my mantra, which I feel privileged to have been given by Amma), a lovely purse; and the perfume bottle was to place the blessed water we were ALL given on our last day, open to the public for Devi Bhava. Now this last day starts in the early evening and goes on until the wee hours of the morning, {so I was told} well, it went on all night until noon the next day!   Ending with weddings and much more. The energy was electrifying and although it was celebratory towards the end, there was a heaviness…a sadness that Amma would soon be leaving most of us that day for a long time. She will be missed…

(c) July 2014
(c) July 2014

(senryû)

in anticipation

my heart swelled and opened

filled with grace

(c) Cheryl-Lynn ’14/07/19

Taking Sides – LindayGHill’s SoCS – July 17

Taking Sides

The prompt for Stream of conciousness Friday is “Side”. Linda G Hill has asked us to write using this word alone, as a preface or suffix…just write as long as your stream consciousness stops, then link to her blog here.

There are many sides to a situation or a story. How many times have you heard a news bulletin telling the public the sensationalistic side of an event omitting other aspects that shed a different light to that event?

I am also reminded of children when parents are separating and how often they seem to shed blame on themselves. So many children seem to feel if they were nicer, quieter or more obedient, somehow their parents would still be together? That is certainly not true but still many children feel this inside the core of their souls.

Moving along on this same topic, friends and family often feel they need to take sides when a marriage breaks up. Friends may feel awkward and think they can’t be friends with one spouse if they hang out with the other spouse. But what if they were good friends as a couple? Wouldn’t it make sense to nurture and continue this friendship with each person? And yet, so many feel they have to take sides.

I have also noticed that couples feel uncomfortable when they hear of a break-up of a relationship. It is as if they are faced with a side of themselves {or their relationship} they prefer not to examine. Why not? Maybe it is a perfect opportunity to embrace the love they have in their relationship. Perhaps it is an occasion to work on some aspects of their relationship if they feel it is a bit rocky. But for goodness sakes, folks, another couple’s break-up is NOT contagious…you can see talk to her or him. If anything, this is a time they need a friend and compassionate listening ear.   So stop taking sides and ask yourself, how would you feel and how would you like to be treated if you were no longer in your relationship? This is where you will see the true sides of a friend alright; the kind, compassionate side or the cautious, weary side; then again would it be the self-righteous, holier than thou side?   One cannot judge another person for their choices in life unless they have truly walked a mile in their shoes.

© Cheryl-Lynn’14/07/19

Getting out or Getting Away (SoCS July 12’14)

Originally written July 14th for SoCS, Getting out or Getting Away

Getting out or getting away are two very defined activities. The first is to treat yourself, to go out with a friend or your significant other; perhaps it is a night out clubbing, dancing or bar hopping…whatever your pleasures may be that is what “getting out” means to me.

Getting away is distancing perhaps from family, friends, or BOTH! Maybe it’s going on a long overdue trip to recharge those weak Duracell batteries.

This past week I had planned to get away to do something for me. I needed to recharge my rechargeable batteries but anything “local” or “ordinary” just would not be able to replenish those batteries.

I had not taken a real vacation in a hotel…a “getaway” since 2002 when I went to San Francisco with a significant other or later that year my solo trip to Orange County.

So, overdue you say?  Yes, indeed!  Not wanting to just getaway to just read on a beach {I can read just fine at home and pop in a CD of ocean waves}…granted I would miss breathing in the salt air…but still.  I was itching for something more and my body, mind, soul and heart ALL needed a good reboot.

So my getaway was a retreat but not just “OMing” for three to four days…no siree, it was jam packed with music, colours, dancing, joy, pure unconditional love and messages of peace and love. I know, I know, some of you reading are shaking your heads thinking, oh that hippie stuff. Granted, I do come from that era, but I was never EVER a true hippie. I just liked to dress like one. I always stayed pretty close to home until I was 45! So call me a late bloomer.

The days  filled with lots for the active mind but no pressure to join anything. Meditation training broken down in digestible slots, music until the wee hours of the morning…orations of depth and the messages that attracted me to begin with love and compassion.  It felt like coming home.

Now when can one “getaway”, refuel the mind, the heart and the soul in 4 days? Okay the body lagged a bit with 5a.m. celebrations. But my other three elements made up for it!

© Cheryl-Lynn 2014/07/17