the hidden promise (troibun)

At Heeding haiku with Chèvrefeuille at MindLoveMiserysMenagerie, our host asks us to write a haibun (prose with a haiku or tanka) inspired by the sculpture below.  I looked up the artist, Matteo Pugliese and discovered the name of this piece is La Promessa…

I discovered a new form of poetry last month called The Cherita at Celestine’s blog Reading Pleasure, a gifted Haiku poetess; the Cherita was created by al li.   Rather than using prose, I am telling my story with two Cherita followed by a Troiku which is a new form of haiku created by Chèvrefeuille. I name my haibun a troibun since troiku is the core.

 

La Premessa by Matteo Pugliese

The hidden promise (Troibun)

The Cherita

aggravation started bubbling unexpectedly

all those hopes and fantasies
never seeing the dawn of day

sadness and self-pity
wrapped inside a duvet
used to comfort her

 

pointing fingers and blaming life is so less painful

staying up late at night
wishing upon a star

waking up dismayed
feeding on crestfallen
crunching on uncertainty

©Tournesol’17/08/05

(troiku)

captive
all those years – stalling
prisoner of self-doubt

captive
wall of hidden truths
fooled to feel helpless

all those years –stalling
that prince of fairy tales
held inside a web

prisoner of self-doubt
unrequited promises
trapped inside her soul

©Tournesol’17/08/05

 

6 thoughts on “the hidden promise (troibun)

  1. I love the form, Cheryl! It stands out, like the sculpture in the image. I really enjoyed the lines:
    ‘sadness and self-pity
    wrapped inside a duvet
    used to comfort her’.
    I’ve had days like that.

    Like

    1. Thanks, Kim. The good thing about those days is that it gives good stuff to write 🙂 Yes, it is a lovely form. I am writing memories of my grandmother in sequence with this form as well as reflections from time to time. Check out Celestine’s blog…she writes them so beautifully!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. A form I will have to look into when I am all caught up. I am months behind. And finished one month, and now am flitting around.

    I relate to this via my own childhood. Not so much physically abused. But mentally stiffed – I was at one time thought to be slow. It was a reaction to death of a loved one while very young.

    Thank you for stopping by my piece on the prompt. 🙂

    Like

    1. Yes, the Cherita is quite interesting. It reminds me of a solo no renga or whatever you call it but I do remember you writing this often. I hope to use it as another choice to Waka. So we shall see. I know about lack of time…I am not very consistent in writing or reading…I think verbal abuse takes longer to heal…the bruises are invisible and don’t always get the proper attention to heal.

      Like

      1. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I did go and look at and copy the link for the Cherita.
        One day… Yes I can see how it could be a solo no renga since it can be done by one or up to three people.

        Liked by 1 person

Your comments are like sunflowers beaming at me:Vos commentaires sont des sourires des Tournesols

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