Embracing emotions (haibun)

Heeding-haiku-with-Ha-emotions

 

One expresses emotions in varied ways and for some it is spontaneous and simply who they are.  Perhaps you are like me when you see someone you love and have not seen in a while, you run up to the person and hug them, kiss them on each cheek.

Overjoyed the morning I felt my son moving in my tummy…the basement of our new home had flooded and I could not hide my joy.  Could not relate to the damage, the flood or any problem whatsoever for a human life did somersaults in MY tummy!!

Oh how I weep with joy when I see my child performing in a choir, when my son did a guitar solo and sang a Bob Dylan song, when they graduated both from high school and college;  and even today when I see them smiling and teasing each other…the joy just takes too much place in my heart and so I weep.

Perhaps your emotions are too close to the surface and your heart swells so much you weep the moment a word hurts your feelings; perhaps it is anger that is too difficult to conceal and you shout, rage or cry again. Maybe you have always felt life dealt you a raw deal and everyone and everything you touch must be for your loss, like a child who stomps off angry because Mommy would not let him eat candy before dinner.

And then there are those who do not express emotions as easily and it eats at them, fester and makes them sick…they are not “at ease” hence it stirs “dis-ease”.  The persons who cannot weep when they grieve, express their love when they long, show their joy when they are gripped with such a powerful love…yet to look at their body language, one cannot read the joy, happiness, rapture or sadness.

Sometimes I speak to a person who has gone through the most dreadful experiences in his past, heard such hurtful comments, witnessed such atrocities and yet I hear no emotion in the voice…flat, no affect whatsoever.  Over time the dam may open slowly when a person feels safe…In this case, a person had to hide all emotion to survive. To give in to emotion may weaken him/her and so life goes on with explosive emotions inflating his/her soul…heart, like a ticking time bomb.

Emotions are not excluded to humans, and we can see that with animals that we love. It could be a horse you would groom for hours before riding, your dog you have walked, bathed like a baby and cuddled with a towel to keep him warm, a cat that leans in close to get a pet, a scratch but deep inside we know it is to be close to you…expressing their emotions in their loving and natural way.

My grandfather had rescued a golden mix a few years before he got sick.  GrandPapa died later in his bed at his home; when the ambulance came to take his body, Princess followed the cot whimpering along the side and then went running in the basement howling so loudly. She did not come up for a whole week, so great was her grief.

 

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confused and scared

a stranger whispers in her ear

“…luv you mum”

~

this frail body

seasoned with dementia

puckers her lips

****************************

beaming,

hand on her belly

feeling flip-flops

© Tournesol ’15

Heeding Haiku with HA ~ MindLoveMisery’s Menagerie

17 Replies to “Embracing emotions (haibun)”

  1. You provided such a strong sense of the various emotions from your prose, your poems and your pictures. I loved the feeling of having my children inside of me too. I rejoiced when they came out of course, but I also grieved the loss of having them inside. Such a special experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Then you DO know and I have only warm loving thoughts to people working at my mom’s nursing home especially when she was dying. She had been there many years, and so many staff came by to say goodbye to her; it still moves to see how much she loved in health and in sickness. Bless you xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The idea of the ‘stranger’ (which the last line of the haiku makes you go back and reread) and the image of being ‘seasoned with dementia’ are especially effective and moving, I think.

    Like

  3. Cheryl-Lynn, this was beautiful and I really loved reading it and sharing your sentiments. Two of my grandparents died in their 90s and both developed Alzheimer’s by the end. My own parents are now in their 70s and while I’m in denial, I’m particularly starting to see my mum slow down and it seems sudden, but in reality has been more of a progression. I now try not to let petty things get in the way and just let it be. Life’s too short.
    Best wishes,
    Rowena

    Like

    1. Ah yes, I had forgotten a bout this post. My, I look so different now that I no longer colour my hair!! I am aging too and i think my children struggle seeing me do things slower, heal slower…I do hope I do not get dementia though and put my kids through that!

      Like

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