You are stunning!

I looked at the clock and noticed there was an hour left on my shift. It was a busy evening alright. But I like that because time passes quickly.  I had done two hours of Live Chat and I was now back on the phones after my dinner break. It is odd to call our breaks anything but “breaks” because we can have lunch at 2p.m. and dinner/supper at 10 p.m. depending on the shifts we work and how we have arranged to make sure the service is adequately covered.

The phone rang…

“Hello, you’ve reach a counsellor.”  I could hear faint sobbing, soft whimpering…

“Take your time, it’s okay; just take all the time you need…are you safe?”

I hear a weak “yes” and she tells me her story. She was just discharged from hospital for her eating disorder. She weighed well under 100 pounds…I winced at the thought of her wasting away and thanked the Great Spirit that she was, in fact, alive. “They fattened me up so much I can’t stand it!” she wailed.

The change for her was difficult to bear. She needed support in slowly accepting her “healthy” body.  We talked a bit about what she could do to distract her thoughts and then she shared some sad stories of her past. Such sadness I choose not to share here, but this is what I wanted to remember …  her fight to live even if for a brief dangerous time in her life and how she tried to become invisible…literally.

We explored her passions.  She was an artist and singer/song writer. I was blessed hearing her sing briefly and for a fleeting moment, I could hear her smile…what an angelic voice…such beauty, it managed to transcend through the wires of telecommunication.  She promised to try to focus on her beauty…voice, passions, art, inner and outer beauty and would call back if she felt overwhelmed.

When got I home late that night,  I could not help but imagine this beautiful person and wrote a brief message I imagined sending to her:

Image source: Thestir.cafemom.com

Do you know that you are stunning?

the last few years, I could barely see you

so frail were you, hugging seemed daunting

what if I’d crushed your bones,

you were really so very tiny;

I remember seeing you back then…

the wind was blowing and I could swear

it was pushing you farther from where

I was sitting on the park bench waiting

watching, silently observing you wasting

away and praying for a miracle.

 

That was a while ago my friend,

now the miracle did transcend

you are beautiful just as you are.

Pity you don’t yet see that far long

but hopefully in due time

with your gifts of beauty and song

you will sing the words that rhyme

and you will finally see

what’s so clear to me.

I pray someday your insight

will see your beauty transcend

as well as in the light

of day…blessings, my dear friend.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/03/14

 Inspired by my original post at StopTheStigma You’re Beautiful

10 thoughts on “You are stunning!

  1. Eating disorders are insidious things Cher. I taught a girl once who after her stint in hospital dealing with her own eating disorder came back to school. She wanted to catch up on her missed school work which was about seven months of stuff and we would meet on a morning each week to see what we could do. Most of the time she wanted to talk and we did. This girl was a very attractive child, a model in some ways, but I often felt like I was talking to death warmed up. Over time she allowed me to write her story into a play. I did so that was in 1992. In 2012 the students I had then wanted to perform the play. We rewrote it and performed it. I am very proud of that play.
    I tracked down the girl who was my original subject. She is in her 40’s now, that did make me feel old, she is still into body image, she is a personal trainer, she has two kids, she is happy in life, I was so pleased to find her and see she was ok. she said to me she lives daily with her eating issues, it never has gone away for her but she has so much to live for now, so she looks after herself.
    But for the young I know it is very difficult. A student I had last year I know will struggle most of her life too.

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    1. Oh Michael, I read this on the bus but never got around to respond to it. My apologies for my tardiness. How wonderful that you were her teacher at a difficult time in her life. Having children will hopefully help her so her children do not suffer from this as well. Have you thought of turning your play into a story for here?? OR selling your play for schools…children and teens learn so much better through art.

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      1. The answer to your questions is no, no, no.
        I am happy for you to read it though, it’s not very long, runs about an hour, just long enough for school. Usually when I finish a performance I am happy to close the script and move to the next project. I did write a performance piece from it about fifteen hundred words. Thanks for so much for your comment Cher.

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