Secrets of Despair – 2

cropped-stigma-photos-mental-health2

Bless me, Father,

my last confession was many years ago

forgive me for I have sinned

I have betrayed my ********

in so many ways I am chagrined

I have abused his/her trust

manipulated and exploited her/him

I transgressed beyond Satan’s expectation

I do not deserve to receive absolution

Forgive me Father

I must pay for my sins

help me be a better father.

Amen.

© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/03/14

17 thoughts on “Secrets of Despair – 2

  1. I have mixed feeling about this one. On the one hand we should forgive but always this happens years after the offences have taken place, the damage done, and often irrepairable. It must be a difficult situation at times.

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    1. It is so interesting the varied interpretations here. I find that piece in two parts….the priest must hear terrifying stories that he may not share just as I do but even worse…he hears it from the offender. I rarely hear from an offender. I cannot imagine being in a place hearing such stories. And the second part is finally the offender is repenting…at least he admits what he did was wrong…I see that as a good thing.

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      1. certainly it is a good thing. I was thinking also from their perspective how hard it is to live knowing that you destroyed the innocence of another. But the offender also has to find away out of their darkness. Very cool of you to write from both perspectives.

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  2. Repentance — is a hotly debated topic to say the least. And I’d agree with @summerstommy2 that I have mixed feelings too. I submit that there is another way to forgive…and it is found in how to repent. Until a person knows true repentance — and how forgiven they are…truly forgiving another person is difficult.

    This has changed my perspective and life. I’ve realized that repentance and forgiveness are not a “work” that I must continually attain to — rather they are something I want to do and receive based upon how I am loved and forgiven by Jesus.

    I studied repentance and forgiveness extensively and wrote an entire post about it. I’d love your thoughts on it… if you would like to.

    It is the only post I have done on repentance and should be quite easy to find if you decide to oblige me. If not…no worries. I appreciate your poem and your perspective. Have a great day.

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    1. I will certainly check that post…read some comments I have made to Michael @summerstommy2 and it explains a bit what I had in mind when writing this part 2 piece of secrets of despair. I have not been faced with such outrageous atrocities in my life…my transgressions passed upon me are mere morsels compared to so many but I do feel I would have healed differently, perhaps better, felt unburdened, perhaps felt some relief if transgressors would have admitted to their wrongs…it is not up to me to see their anguish as they repent but to here someone say, “Im sorry I really screwed up” would have been nice.

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      1. You know…I completely agree. I still have a few wounds from people I would’ve loved to hear…”I’m sorry” from. However, until they get the healing from God for how forgiven they are…they will be stingy with their apologies and “I’m sorry’s.” All we can do in the mean-time is run to a God that forgave us and be filled with peace that He is happy with us.

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      2. I would have loved to hear one “I’m sorry” and interestingly when he died, on his death bed, I said I was sorry…perhaps it was for holding on to something I needed to let go…not sure.

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  3. I have mixed feelings too about this. I am not a Catholic but brought up by a staunch Catholic, though he was quite hypocritical with his faith when it suited him. They would say one should forgive if one repents, but though I might be weak, I could not forgive x

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    1. Well, forgiveness is different I feel; that is personal and there are no should’s in that respect. But holding on the bitterness and a grudge poisons the person holding it far more than the offender, I think.

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  4. Wow! Your poem is SO powerful. How many who were abused long to hear their abusers admit that they did so much wrong. While in your poem this was said to a priest rather than the person he abused it is still a step in the right direction. I feel very touched by the content of your post and by your creativity. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you, Karuna!!! You truly felt my intentions in this and imagine being a priest and hearing all the stories he hears…I am not religious in the least but I cannot imagine hearing such stories…of course their role was sometimes to instill fear, judge etc but that is not the point of this. I personally experience my very first counselling (not realizing it) in confession…getting support….an anonymous…sort of (he had to stay silent) support.

      And yes, I too find healing in knowing there are some offenders who repent…admitting they screwed up IS a big deal. How many victims never hear this?

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