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Can’t wait to get to sleep
dream, dream and unwind
this time when I wake up
will look forward, try to find
in the middle of the night
I won’t reach for my phone
checking time left for rest
rather write down a few words
try recalling at my best
conjure up from my dreams
slumber’s much delightful guest,
stories telling what I deem
just amazing tales to keep
every night in my sleep…
Yep, can’t wait to slip away
and see the stories unfold
all night long imagining
stories needing to be told.
I adore some of my dreams
love to wander, float away…
on a dreamlike getaway
like a nomad that will stray
journeys most internally
learning more just how …to be,
letting go finally
finding space to just… BE.
© Cheryl-Lynn, 2014/01/31
The first snowfall
brings the child
in me so near.
When a rainbow
tails the rain
makes me gasp
just can’t refrain.
My first crush
I still remember
and it still
gives me a rush;
My first kiss
from my true love
memories of erotic bliss
how I fail to forget,
my first pleasures
of the flesh
warms my skin
as I still blush.
The first stirrings
in my womb
makes my heart
flip and flop
wrapped with wonder;
in my arms
suckling on my breast,
in my embrace
next to my son
who’s grown so much
such a wonder…all of this!
soaking up those first smiles,
first words, first steps,
sheer wonder all of this
absolutely total bliss!
in its delight
through the eyes
of my children
giving me a second chance
to embrace life again,
to Mother Earth.
Then the splendor
my son plays
on those bronze
watch in wonder;
like an angle
in her choir
feel in awe
Watch the birth
of my grandson
cut the cord of life as well
how my heart OH! did it swell!
wept with joy
to see this boy.
brings such wonder
I’ve been blessed
ten thousand times
and still counting
I’m so thankful…
such sheer wonders
I have seen.
© Cheryl-Lynn, January 27, 2014
My contribution to this great prompt at Free Write Friday. Thank you Kellie.
A short Narrative
They called her the Wolf girl at the hospital on the psych ward. No one had been able to approach her …much. She was like a wild animal. If you came too close to her, she would howl; if she was hungry she would stand at your table, looking at your tray with the most appealing eyes, no one could refuse her. The staff was curious about her but all, without exception, fell in love with her especially when she would curl up into a ball in the fetus position on the centre of her bed…thumb in mouth, lights ON. If ever a staff member felt pity for anyone sleeping with those bright neon lights and turned it off in her room, she would sit up, howling, eyes wide-eyed holding on to her blanket for dear life.
Her name was Torey. Child services brought her in 3 months ago to Emergency for a check up and after examination by doctors as well as the psycho-educator in chief, they assumed she would get her discharge no later than 3 days (which was customary in “those” cases). But she never got that release and Dr. Shelley, the Psycho-Educator in chief would not release her. She had a different reason at each court hearing…this last one was selective mutism, and that this youth was sexually assaulted multiple times for years. Torey was 11 by now but what the hell did “multiple times for years”even mean? Dr. Shelley just knew that this child should NOT be placed in foster care without guarantees she would be safe. The system had failed her in the past when this child had put her trust in adults who should have kept her safe. Dr. Shelley knew there are NO such guarantees. She took it upon herself to make sure she remain the ward of the court and in the children’s psychiatric ward indefinitely. She had hope that some day soon, she just may make a breakthrough. Torey may decide to talk.
It was December 24th, 3 and a half months since Torey’s admission, and she was in her daily interview with Dr. Shelley. This therapist had a unique approach with youths, those with selective mutism. Her past 10 years experience working solely with teens who had autism spectrum had given her a new skill…EEP. Her colleagues, mostly professors at the local university scoffed at her when she said it was actually a skill that had to be learned with working with “exceptional” youths. EEL stands for Exceptional Empathetic Listening skills. Dr. Shelley had a knack of drawing out the most difficult and resistant child into trusting her enough to start talking…even if it was one hour a day, that was a miracle in many cases she had worked on.
Torey was different. She was brilliant. She had a way of knowing what adults were thinking and what they needed. This is how they discovered her exceptional talent or sixth sense.
One day, Nurse Grant, who had worked on the pediatric ward on the psychiatric section for 20 years, walked on the floor with a limp wearing tinted glasses. Staff all inquired with sympathy what had happened to her over the weekend and she just brushed them off with a, “Ah just clumsy old me bumped into the glass bus shelter. With the darn sleet and snow mingled, I could not see an inch in front of me and I banged the corner of my left eye and slipped and sprained my ankle. Enough said, no need for pity from anyone, so I got these glasses to avoid your mushy sad looks. Now ya’ll get to work!” She did have a bit of a bark and everyone went back to work. No one asked her again and most avoided looking at her in the eye…or rather, glasses…except for Torey. She looked at her suspiciously, sucking her thumb. She circled around her looking up at her and raised her eyebrow.
Then she followed Nurse Grant into the nurse’s lobby and sat right next to her on the couch while she sipped her coffee. Torey looked up and did the most surreal thing…she spoke! “He gave it to you, didn’t he?” she said in a raspy voice. Nurse Grant almost spilled her coffee and looked at Torey wide eye, in shock.
“What you talkin’ about young lady?!” and Torey did not balk…did not feel intimidated one bit. She just looked up at her this time with compassion, and puppy dog eyes and gave Nurse Grant a hug, whispering in her ear, “I know what them do to you.”
Nurse Grant just savoured this moment because she had a feeling that Torey did, in fact, know.
Later that afternoon, Dr. Shelley was advised about Torey’s first spoken words in private by Dr. Shelley who had to come clean of her own personal circumstances. Dr. Shelley, called in Torey and asked her, “Well, now, Torey. You certainly gave us a bit of a surprise today and I have to say a very nice surprise. I want to thank you.” Torey had arrived arms crossed, ready to keep her silence but was cut off guard when Dr. Shelley was thanking her. She dropped her arms to her side and raised an eyebrow and waited…she was the prize of detectives…she had to know for sure…
Trust no one ever!
Dr. Shelley continued, “Torey, Nurse Grant has been in a dratted abusive relationship for years and no one but no one has ever had the courage to confront her and plead with her to get out and to safer environment. Today, Nurse Grant came up to me asking to live in the nurses quarters for the night staff temporarily until she found a new apartment. So I want to thank you for doing something not one counsellor, nurse, doctor or psychologist was able to do until you did.”
Torey stared at her sizing what he had just heard, and took her usual seat in front of Dr. Shelly’s arm chair and said, “Yeah, well, it’s about time she left that f…..g loser. She deserves better.”
That was the first session Torey felt she could trust Dr. Shelley and started disclosing the sexual abuse she was exposed to by her father from the age of 7 to 10 and the abuse in foster car the months following her removal from her home.
Trust has to be earned…Torey was not fool enough to trust just anyone…she knew who could be trusted and she chose to speak to Nurse Grant because she saw peer…a soldier in the fight against abuse in her…as for Dr. Shelley, well, gosh, Torey, knew she had EEL, she was just waiting for the right moment to feel she could actually trust her.
© Cheryl-Lynn, January 27, 2014
Learning by doing is how I learn best and sometimes I just done wrong but I still learned.
A conversation between Me and Mini-Me on Anger. Hope you enjoy this, Cheryl-Lynn
Originally written in January 2014. When I saw someone reblog this today, I thought to myself, “Hmm, did I write this?” I sure did and often I would suprise myself writing on Sreejit’s prompts at The Seekers Dungeon. Well I decided to repost this here because school is starting up REAL soon and it does touch thoughts on Bullying. Clr 2014/08/23
A conversation about Anger with Mini-Me (MM)
Me: What do you think is meant by Anger?
Mini Me: It is what it is, right?
Me: but what might that be?
Mini Me: It’s an emotion,
a deep feeling.
Me: but is it sometimes a ruse?
some kind of manipulation?
like the result of a short fuse.
Mini Me: Well (sigh) then it might
have become sort of a weapon; alright.
Me: Like … of mass destruction, you say?!
MM: heh, heh! good one, I like that analogy.
View original post 853 more words
Despair became her friend
sadness wrapped her like a blanket
Drinking, harming her new trend;
death seemed like her only target,
woke up mornings and saw grey
looked outside and just saw clouds
Praying, hoping was her way
now the pain just screamed too loud.
had no clue that there was hope
there are people who assist
teaching different ways to cope
seeing lifelines on a list
she decides, give life a try
called a youth line late one night
realized she needn’t die
Gave life a chance, saw the light.
Sure am glad she called that night.
Don’t give up when times are bleak
Talk to someone soon this week;
if you’re scared, check a helpline
they may become your true lifeline!
They’re always open, day and night
They never close…so call, alright?
© Cheryl-Lynn, January 18, 2014
On January 28, let’s talk.
Bell will donate 5¢ more to mental health initiatives for every:
Text message sent*
Mobile and long distance call made*
Tweet using #BellLetsTalk
Facebook share of our Bell Let’s Talk image
*By a Bell or Bell Aliant customer only
Don’t forget, January 28th, to share those Tweets and Facebook shares will donate 5 cents…so share, share, share and so folks talk about mental health to remove the stigma so more people, youths and adults will get help.
An old flame gleamed from afar.
WE are glowing now.
Writing, reading, speaking, bliss
Poetry blew me a kiss.
© Cheryl-Lynn Roberts, 2014/01/17